'Forced to Penetrate', hearing the stories of men.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-08-11T13:57:19+00:00

Makes me wonder why this is not universally treated as rape. It has all the hallmarks of rape and yet some people think so little of men to treat it differently.

It makes me angry when I consider how men are treated, especially in so-called civilized Western world.

NullableThought · 2023-08-11T16:19:57+00:00

I'm starting to come to terms that my ex-wife also abused me sexually by pressuring me to penetrate her during our failing marriage. Like I still don't know if I can call what happened to me as "rape" but it was definitely unwanted and pressured sexual performance.

My experience with sexual coercion is a bit different than typical but I definitely don't think it's unique or extremely rare either, especially nowadays. I am a trans man who was married to a trans woman. I still had my natal genitalia, so I used a strap-on for sex at my ex's request. I don't have any bottom dysphoria, which means I'm comfortable with the genitalia I was born with.

At first sex was great but after we got married, she stopped getting me off and only wanted me to make her orgasm. Like at first she'd promise to get me off after her but would then change her mind afterwards. Eventually she stopped promising and basically acknowledged that she wasn't going to get me off but I was expected to regularly initiate sex with her (even if I wasn't in the mood). I was regularly pressured to penetrate her and I didn't even feel anything. Like just the physical act of using a strap on would get me sexually excited but couldn't ever finish the act, even just by myself because my ex didn't wouldn't allow me. She was extremely controlling.

I honestly hate talking about this, not because what I went through was that traumatic but because people (even "trans allies") have a tendency to automatically cast me as the woman and my ex as the man. Like they can't wrap their head around a woman being the sexual abuser of a man that they rather just go full on transphobe. Trans women are women and trans men are men. That is unless a trans woman abuses a trans man.

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