WTF is wrong with me, seriously?

IBeMadToo · 2018-02-02T00:48:52+00:00

Train more. Not in the gym, train your social skills. Socialize everywhere and with everyone. Clerks, janitors, bus drivers, professors. Keep the dialog interesting and attractive.

Approach is secondary to a solid, fun social game and overall social awareness.

Patriarchysaurus · 2018-02-02T08:58:55+00:00

However, even with their help, I wasn't able to approach.

You don't need your friends to help you introduce yourself confidently (e.g. even with something stupid like "Hey, I saw you eye fucking me just now and thought I'd come say hi").

I decided to use my friends annoyance as a way to approach by apologising for their noise and ruining the movie experience but when the movie ended and I was about to call her, I froze up.

So you were more concerned with some rando's annoyance than having a good time with your friends? Weak.
Ah, white knighting m'lady. "Maybe if I suck up she'll notice how much of a nice guy I am and fuck me"
Fear of rejection (when there are no tangible risks) indicates you have a fragile ego. One that needs his buddies to help him talk to women. One that would put those same friends in the corner just to supplicate for female validation.

Solution: develop some values, personal agency, and strength of character.

rel_mm · 2018-02-02T04:01:37+00:00

First you need to not let it get you down when you feel like you screw up.

After every interaction where you feel stupid/embarrassed/like you screwed up etc. allow yourself to feel bad about it, then forget about it, then after a couple of hours/the next day analyse the interaction and identify exactly what went wrong. First is your inability to approach, then it will be you're too nervous when you're talking, then you need to be able to flirt, there's always more to learn and places to improve.

Identify the problems you're having, make goals to get past the problems (and keep the scope of your goals small to the specific problem), design a plan to achieve the goals, write it down, be specific (it's easy to think about it when you write it down it becomes a real plan), and finally put the plan into action.

For example you have approach anxiety, your goal is to get over this, the plan is approach people/women and make conversation, that's it don't try and get numbers or anything just make conversation. Make the goals very specific and small this is going to be a long process going from not being able to approach to getting numbers to taking them out to getting them to bed don't feel bad when it's slow going and don't feel bad when you fuck up realise it's an opportunity to improve, DO feel bad if you allow it to get you down and you stop trying to improve.

Keep doing this and eventually you'll identify times when you achieved you goal and times when you mess up and when you mess up repeat the steps from above.

Identify Problems, Make Goals, Design a Plan, Execute the Plan. That's it.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-02-02T05:36:08+00:00

Faint Heart Never Fucked Fair Lady

AnjaJutta · 2018-02-02T06:39:13+00:00

Talk to old ladies and burly bus drivers first. You need to build comfort in engaging strangers.

redd_reality · 2018-02-02T07:01:00+00:00

It all starts with having shit perspectives which stem from shit values.

You're giving a fuck about something, probably what other people think of you, way too much.

Read The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson.

11-Eleven-11 · 2018-02-02T05:07:57+00:00

I'm in the same boat and I'm honestly thinking about trying strip club game. What's better practice than talking to naked women? RsdLuke has a video about it. He says that's how he got good at game.

batfish55 · 2018-02-02T11:35:50+00:00

Rejection is better than regret. Repeat that to yourself over and over again.

You'll never know about that girl now. Ever. If you sacked up and tried, even if you got shot down, you'd still have closure. But you'll never know. Rejection is better than regret.

hiddenpersona · 2018-02-02T06:46:29+00:00

It is called thinking too much. Not a bad thing in life but you need to understand how it works and bend it for your will. Just stop giving fucks. Don’t think about the outcome.

Pluglord · 2018-02-02T07:21:12+00:00

Start meditating asap. 10 minute sessions everyday.

anusbleach11111 · 2018-02-02T07:31:21+00:00

You have a high tolerance to alcohol apparently. Try tequila maybe I don’t know.

Rogdozz · 2018-02-02T12:54:13+00:00

I’m just gonna copy and paste a comment I wrote yesterday to help someone else with the same problem:

Idk if this is gonna be useful for you, but for me any interactions with girls became a lot easier when I was on vacation. Here in Germany I spend my time mostly either at school, at the gym or playing video games at home, and I don’t have much contact with attractive girls when I do those things (like I rarely even see any girls that meet my standards). And sometimes I don’t even have the balls to look at girls who have noticed me (I’m a goodlooking guy), let alone approach them.

But when I was in a foreign city that is known for its goodlooking girls for vacation, and I spent my time doing fun stuff (hanging out with my cousin at bars, going to a concert, movie theater etc.) I felt a lot more confident with girls. It was extremely nice, sometimes I’d see a hot girl every two minutes and most of the time I could easily hold eye contact until they looked away. The only thing holding me back from approaching them was that I didn’t speak their language very well and any conversation would’ve become awkward, but then a girl started a conversation with me, my cousin translated for me, and after that I just smiled at every other hot girl I’d see hoping that she would approach me too (none of them did lol).

It was amazing how much of a difference being in a different country made. I don’t even know what caused it, maybe it was because I was in a way better mood and didn’t have to worry about anything else than how to have fun, or maybe it was because I saw so many hot girls (compared to my home city) that after a while I got used to them. Or maybe it was because nobody could blame me if I fucked up during a conversation with a girl because I had the excuse that I didn’t speak her language well enough

Anyways, idk if this comment helps you, it’s probably just stupid and unhelpful but maybe it’s gonna help. I’d just recommend you to go visit someone you know who lives in a different country and is confident with girls

tbrmd · 2018-02-02T15:44:49+00:00

Imma keep it real with you cheef ur 6’5” stop being a dick and go get some pussy all the hoes want to fuck you. I have a friend who is 6’5”, ugly as fuck, a douchebag to girls and guys alike and he still gets girls. Just speak up

dankweed · 2018-02-02T15:36:15+00:00

I wouldn't get too upset about "girl checking you out" they do this to me often in fact I've had raging 9's hot for me but couldn't escalate anything out of it due to lack of solid game plan and the fear of touching her incorrectly. I feel like I am walking on eggshells when dealing with those tbh. You get yourself envisioning what you can do with them and how but you see that there is a lot of room for major failure/screwup. Simply saying "hi" sounds off course even as logical as it happens to be.

Shtupidthrowawayer · 2018-02-03T01:17:55+00:00

Try approaching girls to flirt with no other objective, as in merely for the reps. Even uggos. It takes the nerves of trying to get a number or lay out of it.

Title	WTF is wrong with me, seriously?
Author	wtfmak
Upvotes	14
Comments	20
Date	February 2, 2018 12:43 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7uniwn/wtf_is_wrong_with_me_seriously/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/wtf-is-wrong-with-me-seriously.123151 https://theredarchive.com/post/123151

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