Got a feeling that my girl lied to me last night about staying at her girls house.

2comment · 2018-02-04T16:00:49+00:00

First calm down and take this all in stride.

11 out of 10 times, trust your gut on what's happening. It's evolved for a reason and more sensitive than your conscious mind. But don't trust it for actions to take, it's often too blunt an instrument and gets you nowhere.

Women as a gender are masters of narration. When they set up stories, it's always Rube Goldberg levels of deception and manipulation and a team effort with her other friends to back her up.

Outright confronting will do little most of the time and you're generally playing into her trap with heightened emotions, they will outjudo you with tears, reciprocal anger, friends' accounts and all that if need be. Keep your eyes and ears open for things that are off.

One of the most effective things is to casually force a liar to walk their story backwards or sideways rather than forwards because they usually rehearse it that way, while not voicing your suspicions. Don't fill the blanks for them (people often guide others to the answers they want deceiving only themselves).

https://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar

If your suspicions repeat but you can't dig up anything, just dump her, it's not worth the anxiety and this isn't the private dick you signed up to be. As the old saying goes "Caesar's wife must be above suspicion." I don't know anyone who ended a relationship that ever said "I wished I trusted them more", it's always, "I wish I woke up sooner."

abdada · 2018-02-04T13:50:32+00:00

She's not yours, it's just your turn
Sounds like you're young, you shouldn't be in an LTR when your shit isn't together. Spin plates instead.
You forbid her from going clubbing? Lololol. Go read Rollo Tomasi's "Girls Night Out" post about letting her go. You never say no to a woman in words, that's for sure.
Which levels of dread are you incorporating 100% into the relationship? Name the level number and what it is.

Lots of fuckups in this post.

atticusfinch1973 · 2018-02-04T15:51:39+00:00

So you texted her repeatedly, called her and stalked her social media and are now obsessing over her enough to post about it here. Also contemplating going through her phone.

Her pussy must be drier than the sahara for you at this stage. You absolutely reek of insecurity and she's obviously picked up on it.

SkorchZang · 2018-02-04T17:54:30+00:00

Lay low, observe her and prepare. Never confront a woman about things like this, it's about as successful as trying to carry water with a sieve.

You should not have any trust in any woman. Doesn't matter if you popped her cherry and are her one-and-only king in every way. It's still a woman, and is not to be trusted by any man familiar with the Red Pill understanding of what a woman is. Give her no real trust, exactly like you would not give your trust to a child, but all the love and fondness you want.

For what it's worth, I think your gut feeling was on point and you're about to enjoy a very educational and amusing ride. If she starts to slip away from you, your job is to let her go in equal measure, so that she makes her exit from your life in a smooth and harmonious way, whilst you pratice your best grateful nostalgias regarding your times together. There is no need to accelrate this process if that is what is happening, let her stay if she wants, let her fly if she wants. Detach from the concept of "my girl" entirely, it isn't your girl, it's just your turn right now. You'll have plenty of new girls after this, and plenty more new girls after those. Never let yourself fall into blue-pill resentment or rage over a woman.

I would also conduct my own discreet investigation to find out whether she indeed went out clubbing in secret, against your wishes. Without her knowing.

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2018-02-04T15:46:21+00:00

Your girl was sucking some extracurricular dick. Sorry.

MattyAnon · 2018-02-04T16:29:03+00:00

I needed her

This is a mistake. Never rely on a woman for anything. Even your most reasonable and agreed-upon needs and requirements FEEL to her like weakness.

This basically confirmed in my head that she went out with her friends without telling me.

Or she fell asleep.

Also I while browsing instagram I saw that she liked some random pics at 3-4 AM. Last text I sent her was about 12:30AM, and she didn't reply.

Ah.

She's never fucked up my trust in her.

That you know.

. Took her virginity

proof?

she just wanted to have one party night with her friends

why would a party night with her friends require the presence of other men?

Thing is, I'm not even sure if she actually did go clubbing, it's just a gut feeling based on the details I've described.

You're probably right.

check her messages with her friends when we have a sleepover and get the real truth.

Yeah, get some cold hard facts. As much as you can. It'll be hard though, she'll have her friends lined up to cover for her (women always cover for each other, especially to save her from a "jealous and controlling" boyfriend).

One way is to talk at length about her weekend, what she got up to, what they talked about, what they did. Ask what time she went to sleep.

"Babe, I didn't have my laptop with me,". This implies past tense, rather than "just got your message, don't have my laptop with me", implying she read it and ignored it at the time.

Personally I think you're right.

This is why exclusive sucks to badly.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-02-04T16:04:08+00:00

"When there is doubt, there is no doubt."

-From, The Sayings of Chairman Zaitzev

juliusstreicher · 2018-02-04T17:01:02+00:00

I asked the same kind of question in askMRP and I had a Redpill the size of a melon rammed straight up my asshole. So I'll foward the advice.

You should never tell a girl do this, don't do this. Tell her "do what you think is right". That'll make her hamster spin like crazy and it will be a good opportunity for you to judge her LTR potential. If she does something she shouldn't have (like going out clubbing when she has an exclusive bf), you hard next.
Trust your guts.
If you have an abundance mentality and you believe AWALT, you will understand that it makes no sense to give women the benefit of the doubt because it's likely your gut feeling is right and there is always another woman.

Juan-San · 2018-02-04T19:42:27+00:00

You no longer trust her. You've got this gut feeling something's off. Since you no longer trust her, trust that gut feeling of yours.

Drop her and that's it. No drama. "Honey I'm no longer feeling this relationship is moving forward or whatever, I hope you'll be able to find someone who makes you happy" and drop her like it's hot.

Eslime · 2018-02-04T14:52:41+00:00

Put her back into her cage like a puppy. /s I think you need to take a step back, and not care as much. I woke up to take a shit this morning around 2:00. I went on reddit for a bit.

thro0o0waw4y · 2018-02-04T15:12:38+00:00

jesus. this is what I imagine an incel would sound like if he got a gf. you sound like a fuckin psycho. you can't tell her not to go clubbing. listen to yourself. you're stalking her social media. you're obsessed bro. you need to do some serious soul searching when it comes to jealousy and posseviness. fair enough your gf might be shady but you need to work on your behaviour because that's all you can control.

when you're taking note of her every move, bossing her around or controlling her behaviours, instead of you looking like a guy who has his shit together you look extremely insecure. why are you so scared? you're scared of losing her. you care alot. too much.

[deleted] · 2018-02-05T14:23:09+00:00

You don't know what she did

Just that she likely wasn't having an innocent slumber party with her bestie

The only thing you can be sure of is that you don't have the full story

BestSC86 · 2018-02-04T17:57:47+00:00

You don't trust this chick at all....you are pretty fucking insecure.

In the end, it doesn't really matter as no way in hell that this chick is going to put up with your behavior for the rest of her life......she is going to get antsy and knowing that you are an insecure controlling fuck, she will be telling you all sorts of lies about her actions and whereabouts....

If YOU don't think that you are the best that she can do, you really should not be in a relationship with this chick....because that is what this all boils down to...you don't believe in yourself and are scared shitless that she can and will find someone better, so you have devised this plan that if you can just lock her away in the closet, she will not meet other men and she will have to stay with you.

It will not work.....you can't solve your insecurity by trying to lock your GFs in closets unless you are standing next to them while they are out to ward off other dudes that you suspect are better than you.

Thing is now..with this girl you have already proven that you are an insecure fuck who wants to control her actions and plan on punishing her if she doesn't act as you command....so she wanted to have fun, knew that you don't want her having any fun without you especially if it is in a place where other dudes might be, so she lied. It will only get worst because if she wants to go to the ice cream shop...might be guys there, can't...she will lie.....wants to go shopping with her BFF, oops, might be guys there, can't...she will lie. Wants to go a Spice Girls music festival show with her school mates who where big fans, oops, might be guys there, can't...she will lie.

You have to be young as hell thinking that you can lock this girl away in the closet...she is only putting up with this because as you say...you are her first dick and she doesn't know this is not normal behavior....and you think that you can lock her down for the next 30 years, if you can just keep her from seeing other guys.

Good luck with that plan...bhahahahaahahaahah.

[deleted] · 2018-02-04T14:36:29+00:00

Ghost this cheating whore, you don't owe her an explanation

CC_ee · 2018-02-04T20:53:25+00:00

You creepy bro

juliusstreicher · 2018-02-04T14:45:59+00:00

A little sleuthing wouldn't hurt, but honestly, how big a deal would it be if she went clubbing? Doesn't mean she fucked another guy or was looking to fuck another guy. You took her virginity, seem to have her love and affection, chances she's still loyal remains high. I had a girl who, after i had taken her virginity but before she and i were exclusive (and we weren't even seeing each other at the time) was over this super alpha guy's house with another girl and they were all flirting and started fooling around. At one point she had just a bra on and he was massaging her back and she started crying and said, "i can't, i'm in love with u/the__aggressor" and got up and left. He told me that, not her.

I know AWALT, but some are more honorable than others. If you find out she did go clubbing, confront her, express your displeasure, and say if you really want to go again, I'll go with you but never go behind my back like that again.

Title	Got a feeling that my girl lied to me last night about staying at her girls house.
Author	thro0o0waw4y
Upvotes	10
Comments	30
Date	February 4, 2018 1:48 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7v6sub/got_a_feeling_that_my_girl_lied_to_me_last_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/got-a-feeling-that-my-girl-lied-to-me-last-night.123318 https://theredarchive.com/post/123318

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