Hey yall! I’ll try to keep this short. Me (38) and my wife (44) have been together for over 13 years. She had two children and I had a son from a previous relationship and we have two little ones together! My wife never was sexually attracted to me and I don’t blame her. I was 360 lbs when we first started talking. She fell in love with me emotionally and mentally and we decided to form a life together.

Over the years we’ve had a good relationship/marriage despite the incompatibility. Due to us having a big family, I focused a lot of my energy on making money and not so much on my physical appearance although I had got under 300 lbs. We’ve created 2 successful businesses that allowed us to travel the world with our children and buy a nice home. I always had issues with my wife’s emotional immaturity and lack of vulnerability. She has real bad daddy issues and she was molested by her uncle. I tried loving her through it but I never got what I needed in return. She told me if I was to lose weight and become more sexually attractive that would help her give me the femininity I needed from her.

The last year and a half we have suffered extreme financial hardship. Also my wife got a tummy tuck last year and has gotten a new confidence. She was a stay at home mom over the last 7 years and has been stuck inside for most of the time. As a way to pivot out of the financial hardship, I created/funded another business for her which is a transportation company and I discovered during the first two months of operation, she emotionally was having an affair with one of the regular passengers. I was devastated. I had filed for divorce 3 weeks before finding this out because we were arguing too much and I felt that she was trying to push me away (now we see why). She had complained that she wasn’t happy and wasn’t sexually satisfied. Once I filed for divorce we started having sex and it has been amazing and she realized that it wasn’t me, it was her mentality. I also had lost almost 80 lbs in the last year and a half (now 245lbs). We had became routine, burdened with children and problems and lost our connection. Although the sex was great after finding out her affair I couldn’t let it go and still asked for divorce. After the back and forth emotionally and talking to close family and friend about our issues I/we decided to make it work.

Of course after talking about the situation, I asked her tonight if she misses the guy and she said yes she does. I also got ahold of her phone and saw that her and the guy is still messaging and sending lovey-dovey messages the whole time we were supposed to be “working on our marriage.” He was an escape from reality she said and this crushed my spirit. I’m a super strong man spiritually and emotionally and I feel like a bitch that I even wanted to work it out and told her the fact that a 8 week attachment to a guy can conflict with our 13 years shows that what we have isn’t solid. I’m in mourning and can’t stop crying thinking about how I raised her children only to leave mine. My children are my everything and they were born in love and under marriage and I’m devastated. She told me that she feels that there are more sexual exploits out there that she needs to partake in and needs to find herself. We obviously live together and run businesses together but she plans to move out sometime next year. I’m filing for divorce this week so I can take my power back. I love and hate her at the same time! I’m so bitter and sad! I want her to suffer for how she treated me! But i blame myself in the end because I didn’t know how to choose a woman like I do now! Thanks for listening whoever you are!