Script for the conversation or a different approach?

jimsmythee · 2023-12-14T17:00:23+00:00

That's the problem. When divorcing, your ex will be just like mine. She will not answer "yes / No" questions with a "yes or No". Regarding Child support, each state has their own calculator. Just google "your state" and "child support calculator".

My exwife tried her best to control the divorce process. She had divorce help from a few of her friends that got very favorable divorces by dragging things out, making life difficult, and then not signing until they got every last dime. Basically saying, "ok if you agree to xxx, yyy, and zzz, I'll sign." Then the husband wanting this over with says, "ok" and gives her xxx, yyy, and zzz. And then she still doesn't sign, instead saying, "before I sign, I'll also need aaa, bbb, and ccc." Then it repeats.

I tried asking her just that, "what do you want out of this divorce?" I explained in an email to her about the house -- it's my separate and sole property house. Here are the documents. I explained to her about alimony. What pre-tax dollars are in a retirement acct. And I would say, "I'm sorry you don't believe me. Then hire an atty or just google it!"

I had to just give up and go to trial. And I did very well.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-12-13T13:39:12+00:00

I get you want to do things peacefully for the sake of the kids but I think this approach will lead to massive amounts of conflict.

You’re asking too many questions and giving her all of the power hoping she will be reasonable. Spoiler alert: They start out reasonable but almost always get unreasonable in the blink of an eye.

If she wants a divorce give it to her. The sooner it’s over with the sooner you can start to heal.

I would simply formulate your plan for what life looks like post-divorce and get a lawyer. 50/50 custody is the hill you die on.

Can she afford the house if she buys you out or vice versa? You’re going to need to figure out what is financially possible for both of you after separation. If you have a rental property I would not recommend staying in a business partnership with your ex that will almost certainly lead to conflict down the road.

Title	Script for the conversation or a different approach?
Author	Initial_Assist_1763
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	December 13, 2023 5:15 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/18h9dk0/script_for_the_conversation_or_a_different/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/script-for-the-conversation-or-a-different.1240642 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240642

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