I am taking a more hopeful apprach to dating by focusing on things I can control. I keep flip flopping between feeling hopeless and feeling I have chance. I assume I don't have a chance and then I'll get some indication I have chance. Just this week four different people were surprised when I told them I never had a relationship before. Then they proceded to ask me why....to which I actual said the truth for once. The most insightful of one was a lady who struggled to make close friends her whole life. She had few flings in the past but all of them dumped her after sex. One thing she mentioned over and over gain was she had no clue about how to build close friendships. She didn't know how to teach herself that. Her story was too close to home and made me wonder if you actually have to learn to be sexual attractive. Would reading or writing erotica help me understand sexual attraction?