TLDR: I'm writing because of severe depression and I just don't know anymore. Used my main-account but different advice- and depression-groups keep deleting my posts or they don't get any replies!

If a woman posts, she gets flooded with advice. Men get 1 or 3 replies at best after a week or so.

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I did write a long text with another account about my depression, because I am at the end of my strength.

I did not consider suicide before, but now I am thinking about it. Not that I have the guts to do it right now, because my depression sucked all life out of me, but I keep thinking about it.

I lost all my friends due to kid-craze and some turned into such assholes, that I just couldn't put up with their bullshit anymore. My best friend and work-buddy got a new job recently moved far away and just stopped replying after a short time.

But my bad luck should not last forever .... I thought.

I met a woman after I had some really bad relationships that sucked my life and money out of me and I thought this time its the right thing!

But as you already expect: She did lie to me and literally ghosted me one day! No reply besides a "fuck, leave me alone!" (we did not have a fight, everything seemed perfect. She even dragged me to a travel-agency where we looked at options do drive away. She was so hungry and happy for me!).

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I tried to escape the thoughts of her, but she works near my workplace and wesee each other when my shift ends. "see" is the wrong word. "ignore" is more likely.

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This hurled me into a state of horrible depression! I feel endlessly hurt, sad and confused.

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Even worse as my first depression when I was younger. I feel no energy in me anymore, I don't know why I even bother.

I cried day and night for a month. Woke up with a gut-wrenching sadness every day.

Until I was too tired to cry.

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Some weeks ago I tried to seek help and get therapy, but they are all "booked out". I have to wait till the end of the year. wtf.

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So I tried to get help or at least some encouraging words on Reddit. Since there are depression helpgroups. Right? RIGHT?

But it was sobering and hurtful at times tbh.

Once Reddit stopped deleting my threads for whatever reason I got 1 or 3 replies. At best.

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Women writing about the same problems I faced, got swamped with hundreds of replies and encouragements!!

Hordes of upvotes and supporting comments!!

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How is this fair?!

Basically, trying to get help made me even more depressive.

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No wonder women don't stay single for long and keep on living as if nothing happened.

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I wish there was a picture that encapsulates this unfair and cruel reality.

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