Hello dear redpillers.

I am writing this post you to know if I am on the right track or not. I am just starting so it is good for me to know from you experienced guys if my baby steps are good or not. Please be direct (I know you will) and practical (I have seen some advices which are not so I am just pointing this out).

I am a 25 old guy, engineer. All of my dating life I have been in LTR (most of them last 2 - 3 years) which I end when I met a more interesting girl who wants to be with me.

I think I have low selfesteem (got the idea reading the sidebar) but I never thought this before. I mostly do everything well (school, college, job, etc), I get promoted, win prizes etc etc but somehow I cant imagine being alone.

Until now. A girl left me for a guy on june last year for another guy. It wasted me. I got anxious. I got depressed. She mentally fucked me telling me it is all my fault. She continued stalking me (social network and physically) even thought she was with other guy. Kept telling me it is possible to love two guys. Boy was she fucking me in the head..Now I get what was happening. Problem is...she destroyed my selfesteem. Man, now in the moments of big stress I still hear her words that I am useless. I realize now my girlfriends always defined me. I want to stop that. I didnt want to see anyone (no matter how much blue pill me wanted it) since then. I want to be on my own. I want to be the main actor in my life. Not my gf or anyone else.

But I cant just go randomly fucking some gals. Two reasons - I have no libido for some reason and I never did that. I always felt that I have to met the gal before sex. You get the idea.

What I got from the side bar:

  • i started the gym (heavy start, the program and diet)

  • increased sleep from 5h to 8h

  • started being more social and open towards everyone (girls especially)

  • started reading selfhelp books - now am reading New earth by Eckhart Tolle.

I am starting to feel more confident about myself. But I dont feel I am yet trully TRP yet. So am I doing something wrong? Any advice?