What should I do here, should I cut off communication or distance myself from her?

recyclablebanthas · 2022-09-07T13:05:40+00:00

1

I have been talking to a lady for a few months. We are both expats from South Africa and moved to Asia. We live in the same country but a five hour train ride from each other. I once invited her for drinks in SA and she declined though she also does not drink.

So you live 5 hours away from her now?

How far away did you live from her in SA and why did you invite her for drinks when she doesn't drink?

Or if she said she doesn't drink, is there any reason why you didn't pivot to another activity?

2

So last weekend, we were chatting for some time and suddently at 9pm, she mentioned to me that she was "going to sleepover at a friends place". She did not mention if the friend was male or female but judging by the time, it sounds like it could have been a hookup, lol.

Could well be a hookup. The timing, etc.

3

Okay, so we are in a country (Japan) where not many speak English but I know these kind of things are much easier for women and we both do not speak Japanese.

Okay, so a lot of people who might comment on this thread won't be as familiar with the situation you're talking about.

But suffice to say, it is most definitely NOT easier for Western women in Asian places.

In fact, it often sucks for them. It tends to go way better for the Western guys in Asia:

There are far more Asian women who want to be Western and date Western guys, then the other way around.
As far as local options go, Western girls in Asia are usually presented with Asian dudes who bring their insecure mindset to the table and want the Western girls to fit into an Asian box.
As far as foreigner options go, Western girls in Asia are usually meeting dudes who have a lot of local options. Often slimmer, fitter women who find foreigner dudes exotic.

4

Anyway, I did not ask, lol and just said "Sleep well"

Honestly, the fact that she brought up the hook up the way she did, seems to indicate that she doesn't really see you as an option.

Often, women in that situation who want to keep an option open will do their best to bring the conversation to an end without alluding to some other hookup happening.

5

....and we chatted as well for some time yesterday. She praised my new profile pic I uploaded yesterday, something girls usually do not do.

In her last interaction she was basically letting you know that she was getting off the phone to hook up with someone. A compliment about your profile pic is not exactly a come on.

6

I have not asked her out directly before. She is 34 and I 27m. Should I continue texting or just end it?

A couple questions come to mind:

How did you even meet this person?
You say you've never asked her out directly before but you said that you asked her out to drinks? Aren't you contradicting yourself here?
What does your social life look like in Japan? There's no reason you should be this fixated on some girl from SA who is 5 hours away, when you should have a lot of options around you, many of whom are honestly going to be clamoring for a foreigner. Maybe you're not aware of how to tap into that dating pool?
What has brought you over there? How much longer will you be there do you think?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-09-07T03:01:47+00:00

The point of texting is to get her in the mood to meet up in person, so why are you not going out with her in real life and making things happen?

Texting more and more isn’t progress, it’s just called being stuck in the same phase. If you don’t meet up there is no point in texting more. 90%! of the conversation you have with a woman should be face to face, only 10% through texts to make weekly plans that’s it.

If she doesn’t wanna meet up with you then you are wasting your time

Plane_Reflection6053 · 2022-09-07T07:56:42+00:00

Damm 5 hours, start looking for new girls that you can meet frequently.

Bandit_Beamish · 2022-09-07T11:57:52+00:00

It's sounds like you met her online, if so, keep talking to more girls online and try to meet them. Cast that net out everyday then you wouldn't care what this one singular female is up to.

seduction-ModTeam · 2022-09-07T12:46:39+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

Title	What should I do here, should I cut off communication or distance myself from her?
Author	Yellowcardrocks
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	September 7, 2022 2:53 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x7torf/what_should_i_do_here_should_i_cut_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-should-i-do-here-should-i-cut-off.1250449 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250449

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