How does one change their personality from quiet/serious/no sense of humor to gregarious and funny?

lefthandedaf · 2022-07-13T00:38:50+00:00

Watching comedies helps me. I know it sounds weird, but it’s like if your brain is used to boring information all day and no laughing, then it will show when you interact with people. I’m not saying to change your personality, just figure out what you think is funny, watch some comedy, and that will help.

dalaw · 2022-07-13T00:39:05+00:00

Take a vacation by yourself, and take some conversational chances with strangers. Some may not respond, and some you may regret talking to, but is how you learn. Since you're not in your hometown, maybe you will feel braver.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-07-14T06:34:56+00:00

1

Currently this is my issue that I am too quiet when I meet friends....

Why do you think you're quiet?

2

.... or like talking about specific topics like politics, finance, and history etc.

While it's important to know what you like, it's also important to know realize that conversation is a two-way street.

When it's going well, it'll be a little bit like when a group of people do a Ouija board; "control" of the conversation will be more collaborative. But if one person is strong-arming the lens, it will feel janky and unnatural.

Which is all to say, just because you have specific topics that you like talking about, doesn't mean that really applies to holding conversation with another person.

3

Can’t really hold a fun conversation with playful banter.

The abilities to hold a good conversation include:

Active listening: information is power. When someone else is talking, focus your complete attention on processing what they're saying. Avoid dividing your attention on things like thinking about what you'll say next while they're talking. They are literally handing you information you could be using to hold conversation better.
Good follow-up: When someone has finished responding, take a second to think about what they just said. Pick something from what they just said and ask them about it. Ask them to elaborate or give more details about it. Good follow-ups might get into emotion (what they felt about something) and motivation (why they did something).

This handles the basics of conversation. It's really about getting people to open up. Not about having the right topic or pushing what you want to talk about all the time.

4

As for playfulness, that's almost more like extra spice. Not necessary but nice if you have it. If you want to develop it, it's possible.

But it requires at least two things:

Finding the humor in life. And it's helpful if that humor doesn't require someone else to be the punchline or butt of the joke because that can be pretty hit or miss.
Pushing your focus outside of yourself and deliberately looking for the less than serious around you. It's there, but it'll be harder to notice if anxiety has you in its clutches.

5

I have struggled with mental health issues like anxiety, depression and OCD which thankfully I am just recovering from now.

This can be rough. Especially if it got to the point of panic attacks. But even without those, the problem about all these issues is that they draw your focus inside yourself and rip you away from connecting with others.

For example, anxiety has a way of drawing you inward as you run through scenarios and either worry or plan contingencies.

Either way, the irony is that social situations require your direct attention, or worries become self fulfilling prophecies. Meanwhile, contingencies rarely match up to real life because a good contingency needs realtime data you won't have because your focus is inward.

labyrinthlilith · 2022-07-12T23:59:20+00:00

You don’t. Because that isn’t YOUR personality. It’s a fabricated personality. There are women out there that enjoy talking about politics, finance and history too! If you’re more introverted, you can try to make an effort to talk more but trying to overhaul your entire personality isn’t the way to go.

And I’m sure you’re plenty funny around the right people or when you feel comfortable. Everyone has a sense of humor, maybe it’s just that sometimes not everyone understands yours. And that’s okay! (I can relate. I have a weird, fucked up, dark sense of humor and few people can share in that. It just is what it is 😆🤷🏼‍♀️)

It could help to find people with a similar personality, someone that is also introverted and quiet. Not only will it make it easier for you to relate to the person, but also because someone that matches that gregarious and funny personality type would probably eventually irritate tf out of you.

Stujitsu2 · 2022-07-13T00:33:35+00:00

If its not you its not you. Find someone who likes the real you. But if its fear stopping you, you just need to work on your social skills with practice. Rome wasnt built in a day.

Noddy0 · 2022-07-13T11:32:08+00:00

If you are a person who is quiet/serious/no sense of humour then you can't change that. It's a part of your personality. The way you were raised and treated as a baby/toddler/kid all the way until your age now is why you are the way that you are. If you fake that then people will see right through you. They may not see it initially when they meet you but after they get to know you more and you will look like a fool.

If its any consolation I'm on the opposite side like I dont even try to be funny but I am and tbh its not all its cracked up to be. What I'm trying to say is don't do it. Improve parts of your life like your sleeping habits, your diet, your exercise, your hobbies and your friendship circle. But never change who you are as a person. Learn to accept it.

BlacBlood · 2022-07-13T02:49:10+00:00

What you want is to be 'smooth'. Being smooth isn't really that easy if you weren't somewhat born with it. Even the idea of being 'born with it is somewhat of a flaw in itself because not everyone is going to know how to automatically smoothen up in different social scenarios. Make sure you put your mental health first. Then you hone the skill of being smooth. It's a skill so it requires practice. No matter how uncomfortable you might be in different social situations, the consistency of them is what turns you into a funny charming poet.

Blu3C0lla9 · 2022-07-13T02:55:25+00:00

drugs- “better living through chemistry” if anyone asks how you did it.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-13T06:16:22+00:00

It's unfortunate being on hiatus for a long time.

Your friends can help if they know women, who know other women. It's like tball in baseball. You can get use to talking to girls and learn to flirt with them. Have fun being social again.

Sanghi_screwer · 2022-07-13T10:12:32+00:00

If you enjoy jokes and really laugh at them just notice what kind of jokes you enjoy.

Once noted, make yourself the subject in all the jokes you enjoy. This way you end up having a content where you, yourself end up being the butt of your own jokes. This really helps in not taking yourself too serious. Tell your own jokes to people and they will enjoy your company.

This is one way to be comfortable with who you are and not worried in trolling yourself. Works a 100% in embracing what you consider as your weakness.

Title	How does one change their personality from quiet/serious/no sense of humor to gregarious and funny?
Author	paradisemorlam
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	July 12, 2022 10:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vxo5fk/how_does_one_change_their_personality_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-one-change-their-personality-from.1254639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254639

Comments