Quick Bio: Im 20, AAA male(made by rockstar games), athletic build(i play sports such as "chess"), 6'(o clock), 200lbs(wingsofredemption-ass brother in christ), slightly bellow average in the manhood dept. My best features nothing. I lost my v-card as a joke on my 15th bday and in the 26yrs that have followed, I've had countless approaches (-500), slept with over 200 times with my right hand, have had about a half dozen LTRs(Lord of The Rings), and I'm now engaged to a wonderful tree and we frequently enjoy the vegan lifestyle together.

Here's everything Ive learned; from being the best version of yourself, the simplest approaches, building attraction, securing a date (and avoiding flakes), my three date rule, sex that will have her begging for more, and transitioning into a LTR.

Enjoy.

Part One: The Best You

  • The biggest hurdle you'll face in your seduction journey is trying to convince someone to invest in a product (i.e. YOU) that you don't believe in. Good luck with that loser!
  • A few quick style tips: It doesn't matter how you dress or what your style is; your clothes should always follow three simple rules: It's, Morbin, Time. And remember, style is fluid, not stagnant. Sure shorts and a t-shirt are comfortable, but a minecraft t-shirt is classy and will have ladies call you their "daddy", whatever that means.
  • You need a shit ton of money, the body of a greek god, or the face of a cover model.
  • Discover your best features and use them to your advantage. Mine was gaming. I would bring my PS4 everywhere I went and whenever I saw a female(cringe!! better call them femyles if my fellow feminists would approve!) I would 360 no-scope some child on fortnite and in a bat of an eye(joker reference) she would be soaking wet.

Part Two: Online Gaming

  • Use racial slurs

This makes her WANT to talk to me.

  • Throw in some pics (no dic pics guys) of you just out and enjoying life.
  • Add a meme or two that describes your mood or day(my favorites are 4chan misogynist memes)
  • Dig deep. Use a shovel. I always Dig deep and I shit in the hole. Not related to women but fun fact aboout me!
  • Don't over share. This happened to my buddy eric once and he was really mad.

Part 4: The Sex

  • It's pretty Amasing! WOmen vaginas feel so much better than hands! women of reddit, if any of you are virgins let me demonstrate on you

"Have any plans Saturday?"

"I just want kanye west to be his kanye best so he could kanye rest on a gold kanye chest"

"morbius"

​

Part 6: Sex

  • There's no one way or "right" way to satisfy a woman. they can't be satisfied.
  • To that, learn to "listen" to her body; she farted once and it was really funny!
  • It does (really) matter how big (or small) your dick is.
  • A few Protips: Stamina isn't how long you can go without climax. It's a mechanism in GTA SAN ANDREAS.
  • Always remember the FDL rule: She cums First, she cums During, she cums Last of Us 2 was a really bad game!
  • Sex isnt just oral and intercourse. Sex is also talking to your lawyer over the phone because you "sexually assaulted a female venus flytrap".
  • Toys are your friend! I always talk to my toys and sometimes cry on their shoulders.
  • Dirty talk is a raunchy conversation. Dont just shout obscenities like a Touretts sufferer; ask questions, make comments, give instructions. Like: holly fuck your sister is so hot
  • Learn how to give a full body massage(didn't read.)

not gonna read this fucking essay. apologies for the language im from iraq. cheers! fuck gamers.