I've had this issue my whole life that when I get into a girl I get really into her. I start fantasizing about her non stop and projecting my feelings on to her. It doesn't matter how many options I have available to me all other girls might as well be invisible to me. When she pulls away I feel utterly sick and its so hard to keep my composure to try and reel her back with healthy and carefree persistence.

This is happening to me right now and it totally perplexes me. I have hundreds of matches on dating apps and have been seeing several other women, but after I went on my first date with this one girl I had some really good chemistry with over text... and she ended up being 5x more attractive in person... I have been totally lost. Obsessed. Other girls I have been seeing don't interest me at all anymore. I've been fantasizing not just about sex, but how I would amaze her with the perfect birthday gift, Watching the sunset with her next to a campfire on a cool summer night. Disarming her parents with my charm and wit. I know, I'm down horrendously. I've felt like driftwood in the sea of my own emotions and thoughts about her and I can't help it.

She might be able to sense this because even though we had an incredible first date, she has created some distance between us. We had been texting consistently every day for the past couple of weeks but she hasn't texted me since Tuesday the day after our first date. It has been absolutely dreadful to feel abandoned like this and it has taken a lot of willpower not to double and triple text her. I have come up with a multitude of horrible scenarios trying to make sense of why she is behaving this way and most of them are totally ridiculous. It might not even be about my neediness at all and I'm just projecting that onto her too.

Part of it is the fact that I have an insecure attachment style resulting from childhood trauma which I have been going to therapy to try and work on. But I wanted to hear this subs opinion on it too. It's driving me crazy and killing my confidence. What have been your solutions to oneitis and what advice do you have for me in this situation?