Let me preface by saying the mental karma from when I used a girl out of loneliness years ago when I was younger and dumber and now I'm having thoughts that I'm being used. It's been 3 months being together, she asked me about our status and becoming official, she's talked and planned about moving into a house quickly (we're 28 I know it's very soon) and she's done other things like cooked food for me, offered to lend me money which I needed at the time and even spent time with her parents. She also makes the effort to come to mine as well as me going to hers. Basically there are many reasons not to be paranoid of her commitment but what keeps me overthinking is due to the fact that there's no much conversation between us sometimes, I'm partly at fault because I'm afraid of showing too much vulnerability and putting her off but being a closed book isn't good either.

She doesn't hide her phone from me but I get a feeling she wouldn't like me using it either but I have no evidence of that. She also told me of her past sexual encounters where she had a period of sleeping around because of bad relationships and other traumas that led her not to give a shit. I fear she may do the same when with me and I fear her idea of a healthy relationship isn't actually healthy it's just shallow. She has bpd that's been treated and this also makes me paranoid. But the worst thing I'm experiencing mentally is the fear that if she did or will cheat and I find out I won't do the best thing which is to cut her off completely and move on. I'm a stubborn bastard and that is me but I worry I won't and I'll waste my time trying to get her back or just something sad like that... Because the girl I once was with still messages me to this day.. I don't want to be like that, I want to block, ghost meet other women and level up even more in life.. IF worst case scenario happens. Thoughts?