~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
sel9
[–]TheNextBigCrash 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
First of all, this is a pretty creepy admission of manipulation.
Secondly, she will eventually realise you’re not as distant/aloof as you make yourself out to be and the gig will be up.
Be honest with yourself and others simultaneously. If you’re interested in her, show it. If you’re not, let her know. If you lose interest in her but then she catches your attention again, that’s ok.
The point is, this stuff has to happen organically. As soon as you start actively trying to manipulate her emotions by pretending to be disinterested, and trying to artificially prolong “the chase” you’re just doing both of you a disservice.
[–]sel9 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Funny thing is, I was the only honest one when it came to communication. Not receiving the same energy back was just a turn off and decided I didn’t want to do it anymore. Seems like now she regrets it and has something to prove.
[–]TheNextBigCrash 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That doesn’t change the fact that your manipulating tactics are cringe and weird.
[–]sel9 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You all are looking at it one sided. Making it seem as if I’m the villain because her desires / attraction for me have gone up while all I did was remain distant. You all don’t look at how she’d be able to be manipulative after hooking up with me. You would assume she’s doing it because shes afraid I will leave when in reality, she’s doing it to have me head over heels for her.
[–]Perfect-Freedom-9953 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is really fucked up tbh
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Don’t understand how, We never dated, and neither did I hide anything in the time that we did talk. Her wanting to hook up would be a decision that she makes, not one that I tell her to make.
[–]Ebolax6 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You arent being honest with her. You know she has feelings for you. If she does sleep with you, it would be under false pretenses. Which is WRONG.
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The chick wouldn’t do anything she hasn’t already thought about doing. The feeling of missing me would just make that desire sky rocket
[–]Perfect-Freedom-9953 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Your own language and description of your intentions is very concerning. The idea that you will “give her a few crumbs” so that she doesn’t lose interest with no real intention to give her your attention is extremely manipulative. Even more concerning, you described your own venture as a “plot” and wondered if this was the perfect time to lead a woman on just enough that she becomes so desperate to have you that she will sleep with you as soon as she has the chance. If you can’t identify this as manipulation I’m very worried for all of the women you are interacting with.
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She will be getting the attention she wants so bad if she tries hard enough, and i won’t make it easy. Reaching her goal knowing its deserving would feel much sweeter to her. Also, desperation and manipulation don’t go hand in hand. If me remaining distant and giving you crumbs here and there make you desperate to the point where you want to sleep with me, I think the desire had to have already been there. A hook up can be obtained anywhere with anyone. So why insist? Not because of manipulation, but because maybe Ive been playing my cards right. Of course tension and attraction are going to rise, but am I in the wrong if we DO end up hooking up?
[–]Perfect-Freedom-9953 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m not going to engage in a debate about this. What you’re doing is really fucked up. Good luck to you, hopefully one day you won’t need to use manipulative tactics to feel desired by someone.
[–]Ebolax6 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Manipulation is not a good look. Gross.
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not really being manipulative. Just showing her not to take anything for granted. And if that comes with fear and having to do something for somebody to stay, then that’s her way of thinking.
It actually is completely manipulative. You are with holding honesty, your true feelings, and leading her to believe you are not interested, playing games. etc. You can attempt to excuse it however you want, it doesnt change what you are doing though. If you want a real relationship - you have to be real in it. If you are just trying to get laid, be honest about it and tell her. This is the type of behaviour that leads to life long trust issues in relationships after the clear failure of this...
I remain grounded with a pokerface. Told her we’d find out along the way if we take things serious or not
[–]crazedjuan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Guy, you keep this shit up like everyone says she’s gonna catch on that your not actually as cool as you think you are and that you were using manipulative tactics to make her worth being something to you. So you either know you don’t seeing anything coming from it or you make her jump through hoops so she can win you as the prize and when she realizes that the prize she won ain’t shit (you probably have you shitty traits, quite obviously) those hoops she went through wasn’t worth it and now your getting woke up to calls and texts at 4am on a Saturday night saying she loves you and that you don’t have to worry about that one friend. Don’t put yourself through just be nice and confident if she’s into you and you find her attractive and cool just explore it and see where it goes.
understandable. im only allowing the pursuing because based off of my understanding, women like doing it from time to time. so basically what you’re saying is the pursuing can still be going on, just don’t make it to the point where she’ll “catch on”. Having the laid back attitude won’t really make it seem so manipulative.
[–]crazedjuan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Two things my guy: be yourself and don’t be a simp. The idea of catching on only matters if you’re just pretending that you’re nonchalant.. women get a lot of attention and you’re usually competing with someone else for it. So, you gotta ask yourself if she chose the other person would you still be as cool and carefree or would you be butthurt and emotional about it. If it’s the former then you golden pony boy if it’s the latter then the idea of catching on actually matters.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
Letting women pursue? Im all for it. What’s wrong with it?
[–]Bhardwaj-littlesub 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just do what you feel is right, you are the one who has been communicating with her all along. You chose to say these because you know what others don't know. It might leave you more confused than clarified, since we are speaking only from what you posted , not what you & the other person has gone through.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]TheNextBigCrash 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheNextBigCrash 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect-Freedom-9953 5 points6 points7 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ebolax6 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect-Freedom-9953 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect-Freedom-9953 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ebolax6 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ebolax6 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]crazedjuan 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]crazedjuan 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bhardwaj-littlesub 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link