Hey. Second day in a row trying to aproach. Sadly I didnt even do one aproach today. Anxiety got the best of me. I returned back to square 1, which scares me much more than being rejected. Actually, its not the girls reaction that gives me anxiety, its this feeling that everyone is looking at me as I do so that pulls me back from doing anything. I felt horrible, I sat staring at 2 or 3 groups of girls for a while trying to find the perfect moment to aproach, I felt like a creep and also like I was just giving myself excuses to not wake the fuck up and go talk to them. Ill try a different mindset tomorrow, thinking about the aproach being literally just for me, truly not giving a fuck if the whole world is staring at me. I truly didnt think id go back to full anxiety.

Now, I went to the same place where I did my first aproach (park) and things got weird. I went back to the exactly same spot and I got a weird af feeling, thinking the girl I aproached may be there again and how awkward that would be. Here comes the thing, my periferal vision shouldve noticed her somewhere cause that feeling intensified really fast, and after 20 secs walking I THINK I saw her just at my left wearing the same clothes as the other day talking to someone. Now Im not 100% sure it was her because I didnt make eye contact and started panicking, and im sure if it was her she did in deed see me. That fucked up the day for me I think.

Besides that, Ill say how my texting with this girl went. Got her number the other day, and texted her, thought I wasnt gonna get an amswer but she did reply. We started talking and I think I did pretty nice, she answered me back fast, we exanged pictures (started talking about photography) and kept it going. Now I was at about 90% of my comfort building conversation before I asked her out. I sent her an audio without really any question really engaging for her, just rambling around and showing my personality, just to see how she would respond. She answered a couple hours later telling me she was having dinner and that wed talk that night. I told here ok and that she didnt have to worry to take a while to text back. Well this was 24h ago and the last message in the conversation. Im 90% sure shes ghosted now and dont really expect her to answer back, so hey, at least I tried.