I feel a lot of pressure to "perform" socially. This causes me to say and do stupid stuff since I'm just looking for validation. However, if I don't "perform", I feel like I'm too boring

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-04-13T15:31:59+00:00

You're right but it's a simple problem. You just don't believe that you're good enough but in the pickup, it's probably the most basic and fundamental phase. You're enough. Like you start to talk to a girl and it's called you offer value. How do you offer value? With yourself and words and thoughts and beliefs. You're the value. One exercise that helped me to overcome it was simply expressing myself, ofc if you wanna be noticeable you have to be polarizing, also it's attractive so why not. and how you can be polarizing? You're loved or hated but there's nothing in between. All I did was expressed myself without censoring it, whatever come to my mind if it was rude? who cares. if it was too needy? who cares. Teaches you to handle different situations and also if you got a positive response from girls or people your brain start to recognize your own value so they dare to express yourself has been more and you might got even more positive feedback, or not. Its about okay not give a fuck about what people think of you and you can be only loved or hated but nothing else

2022-04-13T15:03:46+00:00

Be yourself! Don’t care about outside validation! Cause at the end of the day you won’t even know who you are cause you are pretending to be this other person. True friends will love you just the way you are! Imagine everyone being charismatic, funny, witty it wouldn’t even be recognisable since everyone has it . Uniqueness is very special, embrace that!

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-04-13T15:40:04+00:00

There are two kinds of "trying". One is good, one is bad.

DO: try to put yourself in social situations and expand your social skills.

Do NOT: try to win the approval of any particular person. No matter how good you get, you'll click with some people and repel others. Focus on the ones that like you as you are.

JDCalifornia19 · 2022-04-15T03:06:55+00:00

It’s so cliche, but just be yourself man. Sure, there’s lots of good advice in books about human psychology and how to frame social situations, but you shouldn’t view them as an elaborate act, they should be pieces to add to your already great personality. And as others have said, don’t seek validation from individuals; try to learn to validate yourself. You have the cognitive capacity to recognize the kind of person you’d want to be around and whether you’re exhibiting likable traits, you don’t need someone else to confirm it for you. You’ve got this brother

AT_Bane · 2022-04-14T00:52:58+00:00

I caught social anxiety through actions like yours… try calm yourself and read a few books on how to be charming. Apply those and remember a calm demeanour is all you need

atomant88 · 2022-04-14T03:33:08+00:00

are yo ua teenager? this to me just reflects a huge lack of experience and confidence

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