Met this girl in an online class, we hit it off, and have been in contact, on and off, for about a year or so now. She lives about 2 hours away so for the most part, we’ve just been texting, calling, and FaceTiming.

This year, we’ve been increasing in communication since that class ended. We met up once as group last year but never alone. This year I wanted to change that.

Her birthday recently passed last month and I explicitly(as in direct but not in a pushy way) told her over the phone I’d be willing to drive over to where she lives and her take her out. I didn’t think it was odd or too forward since we’ve known each other for a year or so albeit mostly through a screen.

She seemed taken aback and just said, “yea I’ll let you know what we’re doing.” I just said ok.

It was over FaceTime and it look like she didn’t like the idea so I left it at that. If she told me her plans ok cool, if not no biggie. I never brought it up again. Just wished her a happy birthday on the day.

After that, I thought about the dynamic we had. We both far away from each other. The texting and calling mostly came from me. She would only reach out when she needed help or whenever she wanted to. Every time I mentioned visiting her, she would have an excuse.

Needless to say, She isn’t interested in me. In fact it feels like she’s using me.

So after about 2-3 weeks of no contact, she messaged me yesterday asking how my job was going.

I haven’t replied and don’t have intentions to. But now I’m wondering if this is the right move? I’ve never ghosted anyone but for whatever reason feel like it’s appropriate for this situation.

When is it ok to ghost someone?

Edit:spelling