Hey all, I am looking for some advice and this subreddit seems to have a lot of advice regarding dating that I’ve found helpful. A lot of this post will be me rambling, but I need to get this all out of my head because it’s really killing me.

I have been really struggling over the past couple years because I have had virtually no success with girls. Years ago, I had a couple short relationships with people whom I matched with on dating apps, but those have stopped working for me and I no longer get any matches. I am a 22y/o, 5’10-5’11, white, and muscular so I think I’m below average to average in terms of looks. Im graduating from an elite US university, have close circles of friends, and my job will pay well. My life outside of dating is pretty good and I’m grateful for that, but I’m very shy, and have suffered from anxiety (including social anxiety) and depression for at least 10 years. I’ve tried to treat these things for the majority of these years, but my brain chemistry and hormones are so messed up that antidepressants, meditation, exercise, and the other things I’ve tried have not worked. If I keep waiting for my mental health to “get better”, I will never find romantic love in my life. Also, people keep telling me to focus on self-improvement and then girls will seek me out. That’s a load of horse shit. Unless I’m a celebrity, that will not happen. Also, friends tell me that I’m young so I have nothing to worry about. That’s true, but I fear missing out on young love. I don’t want to be in my 30’s and find that I’ve never had a serious relationship or the opportunity to date around and find what I’m looking for.

I also have no women in my life whom I can connect emotionally with. I lost my mom when I was younger, so I am lacking a female figure in my life which hurts a lot. I was also never given guidance on how to connect romantically with women or show interest without being creepy. This is why I want to enroll in a dating bootcamp. I’m willing to pay thousands of dollars for this because ive learned that a life bereft of romantic experiences is a painful one, so I’m willing to go out of my way to improve in this area.

Another area that has hurt me is that my self-esteem is critically low, but how could it not be when Ive never been able to connect romantically with a woman. My biggest insecurity in all of this is my height. I know I’m not “short”, but my friends who have had success with women are all taller than me and my shorter friends have had little success so I can only assume that has something to do with it.

Currently, I have essentially no romantic prospects. This is scary because if one does appear, I will likely pursue it even if it’s not a good fit. I have tried doing cold approach recently to expand my options (in the day and night time), but most girls don’t end up interested in me despite us having good conversations and me expressing my intent. Maybe I’m being too nice, maybe I’m not attractive or tall enough, I just don’t know.

I can have all the wealth and success in the world, but it will mean absolutely nothing to me if I don’t have someone to share it with. Has anyone been in my shoes or has helped someone who was? What is the course of action I should take? In the past I have resigned and given up when it comes to this part of my life, but it has led to me missing out on so many experiences. Do any of you have recommendations for dating boot camps or courses or dating coaches for a beginner like me? I have watched Todd valentine, Coach Kyle, and Austen summers videos but I don’t know how effective their techniques actually are. Are there other things I should focus on? Also, is there a way for me to stop focusing on this and have gratitude for the things I do have in life because this is driving me insane. Thanks for taking the time to read all this.