It’s been a long time since I found TRP and now I’m at somewhere that I wouldn’t believe I could achieve. The problem is, when I meet people, go out, even just for a walk. All I see is people’s problems and negative sides. I just look at someone and judge them, how ugly their clothes are, how fat they are, how ugly they are, how beta they are. Even with women, I look at them and all I see is stupid mindless consumers. I look at my friends and instead of celebrating their positive sides I always think how fucked up they are, the way they eat candy bars, late nights. You know what I mean. Of course people pick on my vibe and stay distant to not be judged. I feel like I’m getting more isolated and only hang out with 1-2 people who are truly after their passion and goals. But I want to be more social and improve my social network but those negative thinking and seeing the flaws keeps me back. I can’t seem to enjoy things, am I still in anger phase? I think even after 5 years I’m still having rejection issues of the reality. Not with the women or their behavior, it’s a piece of cake. It’s the fucked up diets we have, lies we are told, pharma industry, health industry, how everyone is secretly poisoning each other and how only thing matters is money. I’m fine with money, I have good amount of money, it’s just you can’t even trust your friends, everyone is after sneaky plans and I believe I’m tired of always being on lookout. Yes I agree in animal kingdom there is no laziness or rest. You slack you die. There must be a way where I just ride the waves without thinking negative and just accept everything as it is. I’ve done shrooms, lsd, other stuff and everytime I felt like I tuned into the perfect mindset but it only stayed 3-4 days max. I always go back to this low consciousness state where I can’t focus on goals because I’m too busy thinking the negative shit of the world, myself, people, friends, my apt, my car, even though they are above avarage, I can’t seem to relax.