25M here. I've been going over in my head what it is I really want. I've come to the conclusion that I want to start having fun with women.

From when I turned 18 up until now I've had a fair few missed opportunities which I really do beat myself up for on a regular basis. Now that I'm older this is starting to manifest and I feel clueless as to how to even make connections with other people. I don't talk to anybody from my college (UK) or school years, and my job is self employed in different locations so I'm not tied to any social circle in that respect. I've started going to the gym more consistently since the beginning of the year, but I have a few short conversations with a couple of people and that's it. The fact that there are some hotties in there makes me more withdrawn. I do have a group of friends who live in London and Bristol who I meet up with to go to raves with at least once a month. But I'm more quiet and trying to chat up girls in a rave/club environment is confusing to say the least.

Where do I start? I've read how to win friends which I'm sure nearly everyone on this sub has read, but it doesn't address being shy I don't think. Another thing that plays on my mind is this conflict in my head that if I don't escalate or show sexual interest with a girl I'm a nice guy/incel and if I do show sexual interest people will see me as a creep and a misogynist. These things are seriously holding me back and I would appreciate some tips on how to break past these