Severe Approach Resistance/Anxiety

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-28T09:37:27+00:00

Okay. So approach anxiety comes from the fear that you may get rejected or come across as a weirdo. It's actually not even a fear of being rejected, but a fear of what you think may happen.

Here is a little secret to never get rejected again. Think about why people get rejected in the first place. There are two reasons. You are either offering something (you are trying to sell) or you are wanting something (you are trying to buy).

Here is an example. You own a stand in a market selling fish. So you yell "come get the fresh fish, come get the fresh fish, I just hauled it off my boat, fresh from this morning, this is the best sea bass you gonna get around here". But shoppers around you don't feel like eating fish, or think you are too pushy, and they walk away. That's rejection of what you are trying to sell.

Another example, you walk around town and come across this vintage 70s Ford Mustang. Oh wow! Exactly the car you have always wanted, you are drooling, you want to take pictures of it and rub yourself all over the leather seats. The owner comes out and you beg him to please sell it to you for above market price. You just want that car and you will do anything to buy it. But the seller says no. The car was left to him by his late father and has sentimental value and he will never sell. You get rejected.

In the dating arena, these two scenarios happen when you think you need to inflate yourself and present the best version of you there is OR when you see a woman you want and you feel like you would be lucky to have a chance with her and will do anything to get her attention. Both of these are losing propositions and will likely end up in a rejection.

Instead of trying to sell or trying to buy, go up to a woman with the purpose of finding out if she is someone you can stand for more than half an hour. Yes, you noticed her because she is attractive to you, but your goal shouldn't be to try and sell yourself or try to buy her attention. The goal is to simply find out what she is like. To make it even easier, make the goal simply introducing yourself without any expectations.

How can you get rejected if you are simply trying to be friendly? If she says "what do you want you creep?", oh wow! Obviously this is a person you probably wouldn't get along with. Even then, you can calmly say "hey, I don't know what weirdo I remind you of, but I can assure you I'm not that guy. So you want to try this again? Hi I'm Bob". There is no success or failure here. It's no different than going up to a barista at Starbucks and ordering a coffee.

vardarac · 2021-11-28T12:13:52+00:00

I just wrote out a whole post without even thinking to ask. Do you think you know what makes for a good opener? And would you use it when trying to start a conversation with a random guy at the bar?

I ask because if you don't know, the source of your anxiety might be that you aren't really sure what makes a good opener. If you are sure, try practicing your openers on people when you think it is appropriate; literally anyone. As /u/JacobMoogberg69 said, that's just being social and starting conversations.

Awkward_Management28 · 2022-07-06T13:54:02+00:00

Wtf just fucking approach you are lucky you are getting girls to approach u I get zero this fear is bullshit I don’t get u your dumb it’s like you always have food delivered to your door but when u see a fast food store next to u you are too scared?

Title	Severe Approach Resistance/Anxiety
Author	Infinite-Yoghurt818
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	November 28, 2021 9:15 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r40bfi/severe_approach_resistanceanxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/severe-approach-resistanceanxiety.1271632 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271632

Comments