Overcoming fear of being shamed for what I want?

kettlebell_workout · 2021-08-21T00:31:02+00:00

You are misunderstanding: "MAKEYOUR INTENTIONS CLEAR FROM THE START "

Imagine you are walking on a street and some girl stops you. 100% your first thought will be "What does she wants from me?" This is a totally normal reaction.

So the first thing you need to do is to explain to her "WHY" are you talking with her.

"Making intentions clear" is just one way of answering the question of "Why?".

The reason it "works" because it is HONEST answer. "You find her beautiful, therefore you want to get to know her". It makes sense.

Generally, people appreciate honesty. 90% of times you will get the answer "Thank you". And conversation won't lead anywhere cause number one reason is that she already have a bf. Another reason for rejection is that she didn't like you.

But if she does like you. She will talk to you and will give you her number. Also, if she is single most likely she had not had sex and is horny. So if she is opened minded person, you go for instant date, and you have convinced her that she at any point won't be in physical danger, then she may have sex with you on the same day.

Stating intentions will be weird if you think it is weird. Same like ordering a pizza. You can make it as casual as it can get, or make everyone uncomfortable if you are doing this first time and have social anxiety.

GreatWhite9000 · 2021-08-20T10:15:32+00:00

Real question is how confident is the guy saying it and to who is saying it. Good balance between being upfront and being too sexual will yield most results. If you say something like hey i thought you are pretty/hot, nobody will judge you, but if you say lets go to my place in introduction two things can happen. First it can go well. You look like a guy that can pull that off and she likes that kind of a guys. Second case you get rejected or she tells you somehow to slow down with escalation. Maybe you were not confident enough for move like that so it seemed forced or she doesn't like that type of moves.

What you can do in my opinion and what I do is to approach anyone thinking that I just want to make their night better. Always escalating but slowly. She will want spend her time with me not because I am confident reather because she is thinks it is time well spent. Problem with escalating to fast is that it doesn't work on may girl, but escalating to slow doesn't work at all.

Hope I helped.

2021-08-20T17:28:40+00:00

Read “Healing the shame that binds you” by John Bradshaw. Get a therapist but instead of individual therapy, call 211 and ask for group therapy. Share your most shameful desires with the group and the shame will melt away

TheSunshineMan · 2021-08-20T21:11:24+00:00

Why are you having this fear?

How many people have told you personally "UGH you only talk to women just to sleep with them?" ?

And that line is horrible - don't use that.

Title	Overcoming fear of being shamed for what I want?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	August 20, 2021 9:34 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/p81t4y/overcoming_fear_of_being_shamed_for_what_i_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/overcoming-fear-of-being-shamed-for-what-i-want.1277915 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277915

Comments