We sometimes have a filter that distorts reality when it comes to how we perceive others’ behavior around us. Guys will often go on a date, think they had amazing chemistry with someone, only to be ghosted or friend zoned afterward, utterly clueless as to what happened. In fact, the signs were there all along, yet he was too busy fantasizing or being nervous to be observant of her mannerisms.

Short answers, limited smiling, appearing distracted, infrequent eye contact, body language that is oriented away from you rather than getting closer, no laughter or indication of having fun.

The signs are there, but when you’re prematurely imagining a future with someone, you’re going to inherently have a skewed version of reality, where they like you more than they actually indicate. For guys with a fragile ego who have a hard time facing rejection, or believe it’s shameful,they will convince themselves that her cold behavior is her playing hard to get or being coy.

If a woman has a high level of attraction, they don’t play hard to get. You will know in some aspect of their mannerism, even if it’s not blatant. They will want to be around you, they will appear genuinely happy and excited to be around you.

If she goes cold on a date or while communicating, she isn’t attracted to you in the moment. Instead of asking ‘are you ok’ or ‘what’s wrong?’, mirror her behavior. Don’t be a dick or rude, but make your answers shorter, don’t talk as much, don’t pretend you’re having fun if you’re aren’t.

If she appears genuinely distressed or sad, then ask her if she’d like to try another time and end the date, supporting her if she seeks it. Otherwise just hang back until you part ways.

Interpreting behavior and REALISTICALLY gauging attraction (on a scale from 1-10) is one of the most fundamental skills you need to have to date successfully. It isn’t difficult if you are observant, don’t fantasize, and face rejection like an adult.