29M For reference.

I'll be honest, I'm a bit down. Moreso dissapointed.

I just want to put my thoughts into words.

Cool couple friend of mine starts talking to me, hyping me up about this "AMAZING" girl. I'm really skeptical of first, but I go along with what they are saying and ask more about her. They say, "hey Nico, you're an AMAZING guy, She's amazing too! You're both mature, smart, good people and since we know both of you, there is a lot in common between you guys."

I'm not looking for a relationship, but I am open for one. I'm a little bit skeptical at this point, as it just sounds too good to be true. She sends a few pics of me to her, she thinks I'm really cute. Awesome, I get a picture of her, I think the same. Awesome. My friends recommend me send a text, great. I do. We start talking, things are going really well, we seem like basically the same people. I arrange for a date.

A week later, texting on and off, getting to know each other, it's date day. My friend tells me she's extremely excited for the date, she bought a new dress etc etc.. I tell her that I am excited too. I picked up a new hat, nice pair of jeans, shoes, etc. Looking sharp. I arrive at the location, (a trendy eatery), I start some fun flirty joking banter with her before meeting her, this went well. We meet, she recognized me right away (good sign my pictures were good). We sit at a table, order a couple drinks and an app. Start talking, we're both excited at this point. We both joke about us being nervous, but things really start flowing when we get into talking about our interests and etc. We share a lot of interests, we had a lot in common. I only expected to stay an hour and just have a quick meet, but time flew by as we were laughing at each other and at experiences we had. Things seemed like they were going great. It's getting a little bit late now, later than we expected to stay out. I asked if she wanted to go for a little walk (we were in a very scenic location) She was very excited about it and said yes. We go for our walk, continue talking about the random things that we both enjoy. I offer to hold hands, she accepts, we hold hands while walking by the water. It's getting a little late, we turn back to go home. Her car is the first we reach, She offers to drive me to my car (honestly not that far at all). I take this a really good sign. I jump in, we continue talking, drive around the block and reach my car. We continue talking, both agreed we had a good time, I give her a hug and then a kiss on the cheek.

So far, seems like a perfect date.

I get a message from her friend the next day (they work together), telling me that she was really happy about the date she had a great time and would be down for another date. I'm feeling good about that since that's a really good sign.

I wait a little bit into the day, I send a nice message saying that I had a great time, seemed like we had a lot in common.. blah blah, let's go out for another sometime?

Crickets the entire day.

Ok from my experience, this is a really bad sign.

I chalk it up to her being busy, this was a weekday and she did have a 10 hour shift.

I mention it to our mutual friend, she assures me she was really into me and there was a connection blah blah.

OK, that's fine with me I'll just be patient and see what happens, you never really know with women.

I get a message from our mutual friend the next day, girl I went on a date with is going through something and is quitting her job and a whole bunch of things.

I'm really surprised and taken aback.

I get a message later that day from the girl I went on a date with saying she had a really great time, but she's not ready for dating, and that she wanted to still be friends etc etc.

This is code for I need to take 10 steps back and forget about this girl.

I send a very small message, acknowledging it.

My thoughts

  • Her quitting her job right after the date, that's a pretty big red flag, it seems this girl might be emotionally unstable.
  • I might be too enthusiastic on dates.
  • I might wait 2-3 days next time before sending a message, and with a more casual tone.
  • I did my best to be myself, have fun, go with everything I've learned over the years with dating.
  • It's difficult to find someone somewhat like me, I'm a bit of an old-fashioned romantic, I'm into health and fitness, and I'm a huge nerd, gaming, anime, etc. Usually those two things are mutually exclusive. She seemed like she was the same as me, and we vibed, which makes this really suck.
  • It's just very disappointing. And I still end up blaming myself.