How to ask a girl to dance at the club?

97wert · 2021-05-16T14:31:38+00:00

What I usually do is tap them on the shoulder, smile and introduce myself and ask if they’d like to dance. Occam’s razor. Simplest solution is the best.

If you wanna be more subtle about it or if it’s too loud to talk, I basically just dance near/behind them and brush their waist with my arm. If they don’t move away, go for it.

However, there are certain women you will always get a no from. Don’t try to dance with women on their phones. If you’ve seen her turn down a few other guys don’t bother. I usually go look for the girls dancing the hardest lol.

As for kissing them, once you are grinding on them just try to kind of turn them around with your hands. Most will usually figure out what you want and you’re all set.

KevinABV63 · 2021-05-16T14:29:29+00:00

Knowing moves helps. If you’re not that into dancing it’ll show and you won’t radiate that vibrant energy that a guy who’s really into it will. Taking a class can help you learn how to get down to this sort of music.

2021-05-16T12:12:49+00:00

Get your dance moves right and you won’t have to ask. They’ll just swarm you! That’s worked in California, Vegas, Mexico and new York! Dance moves work universally!

OThinkingDungeons · 2021-05-16T13:20:16+00:00

Two tips

If you're on a higher energy level than them, they'll gravitate to you
If you know how to dance, they will hunt you down

I'm not in the night clubbing scene, but I'm pretty sure if I wanted to kiss a woman I'd go the path of flirting with her physically.

Eye contact
Increasing levels of touch
Waiting for mirroring, then slowing down the dance into something more intimate when I see it (isolating out distractions)
Eye contact that flits from staring into their eyes then staring at their mouth, while in a constant hug style dance.

Woujo · 2021-05-17T02:12:25+00:00

I generally don't like to meet girls on the dance floor. I like to meet them elsewhere and then ask them to dance. But even if I do meet them on the dance floor, I try to talk to them first. I think its weird to just walk up to somebody and start grinding on them.

But other than that, the key is to genuinely enjoy dancing. Most guys "dance" just so they can get near a girl. If you go on the dance floor and genuinely enjoy yourself girls will notice you.

dengaz · 2021-05-17T03:56:30+00:00

girls are out there to be excited, if getting close to a girl whos dancing near you evokes thrill or your nerves, that is usually the thing people go out to do. Its a lot of intense emotions at once but if you have to be okay with being rejected. The secret is nothing more than just going up and dancing with them, but the difference is the other guys were willing to be rejected.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-05-17T09:44:44+00:00

1

The loud music and the amount of people was insane.

There's a basic aspect of dance clubs that you're describing here: One of their features is that the main mode of communication there is often nonverbal and people are often there to dance, especially the girls.

And where a lot of guys get into trouble is when they sometimes limit themselves to verbal openers in a place where people are focused on the nonverbal activity of dancing and nonverbal communication is often king.

It's easy to accidentally come across as clueless and an interrupter of the fun if one keeps trying to talk to people who are dancing on the dance floor.

2

Anyway, a few minutes after I arrived, this random guy who was dancing starts to get closer to us.

Before I comment further on this guy, why did he leave to dance with another girl?

What was your friend's reaction to him as he danced up, as she danced with him, and as he left?

3

Then, two attractive girls came up to us. My friends started dancing with them, and i was trying to dance with them, but it seemed more like I was dancing near them not with them.

Some of this you could chalk up to inexperience. Both with clubs, and with dancing, which as I mentioned is a language.

You're going to feel more comfortable if you have some familiarity with the vocabulary and grammar of it.

4

After that, my drunk friends started dancing with other guys and one of them even kissed a random dude. I was just astonished because i had never seen them do this kind of stuff.

Couple things here:

You were in a venue where nonverbal communication is very prominent. Your friend who started kissing the "random guy?" He was probably not as random as you think he was. There was likely some nonverbal communication going on in the lead up to them making out.
It's not uncommon for people in a club to have a conversation with facial expressions, eye contact, and gestures, long before two people get within arms length of each other.
Kissing dudes in a club is actually not that big of a deal really. It's a whole other level when people are sleeping with new people every week or month.

5

It was somewhat frustrating because i have known them for so long, and i have not gotten even close to that kind of physical contact with them.

Physical contact is not require knowing someone for a long time. It's not required being emotionally close to them either. You've seen that.

It requires making moves and there is a whole nonverbal interaction that takes place before physical contact can escalate comfortably.

You could have invited one of them to hang out one-on-one, and set up a situation where you were testing the waters as far as how comfortable they are with physical contact.

If you were going to do this, The club certainly wouldn't have been an ideal spot to try it for the first time with them because there's so much going on there.

6

But what surprised me the most were the guys they were dancing with. They were average guys. I realized that if these guys can do this kind of stuff so can i but i have no clue how.

I think the key here is that attractiveness is subjective. What people find attractive varies and it's often not something you can predict.

Having said all of that stuff about dancing above, it's kind of not required. You could watch a couple of very basic YouTube videos on hip hop two-step and be pretty well set up for a club. Most people in there don't know how the hell to dance and it doesn't really matter.

The important ingredient is confidence.

7

My question is how can you get a random girl to dance with you like and even get to kiss her?

Firstly, the way you phrased it in the title is a little bit off: it's not about asking verbally. It isn't some ballroom in the medieval ages.

Secondly here are some ingredients:

You have to be in a mindset where going to the club is something you actually enjoy. You like the music, and you're comfortable enough with your body to enjoy dancing at least a little bit.
Then when you're at a club, you go out onto the dance floor and start doing your thing, having fun.
It's important that your fun is intrinsically motivated through your enjoyment of the situation, regardless of whether a girl comes out of it or not. Girls will sense if you are out there just trying to desperately attract a girl instead of actually enjoying yourself.
As you are enjoying yourself on the dance floor, scan around and look at people. Make eye contact, be in a mindset where you have a real smile, look for the funny things going on around you.
Pay attention to the music and the people around you. If you see something cool that someone else did while they were dancing, feel free to copy it or answer it in some way.
As you look around while you're doing your thing, you will get eye contact back sooner or later unless you're acting weird. The quality of that eye contact will let you know whether it's worth moving in.
You could also dance your way around the dance floor and interact with people as you go.

NewGrad222 · 2021-05-17T09:21:47+00:00

Step 1: Be good-looking

Step 2: Don't be ugly.

ChigBungus22 · 2021-05-16T22:24:50+00:00

“You wanna dance” *smile and gesture do dance floor

Sinnerman_47 · 2021-05-16T23:12:35+00:00

“Hey, do you wanna dance?”

vbcbandr · 2021-05-17T05:27:32+00:00

Learn to dance. Take a few dancing classes...good chance you'll meet attractive women there.

gaycountdooku · 2021-05-17T06:03:03+00:00

you should ask your female friends to get their perspective

BillSOTV · 2021-05-17T12:08:03+00:00

All of the advice you’ve been handed so far is either complete nonsense or it is more complex than it has to be. The simple answer is to own who you are. You want to be in the club and you want to feel like you have as much right to be there as every single other person in that place but at the same time not be judging them. It’s true self confidence. You get that by letting go. Which is like ‘well how the f do I do that!’ Its an acceptance you arrive at by doing. Simply put, you have to drag yourself through the dirt before you reach other side. You have to go there and do a dumb dance and look like an IDIOT. You have to talk to girls and KNOW you’re going to be rejected. And then if they don’t reject you, you have to TRY to get rejected. Because only once you see that you’re the biggest TOOL in the building, only then can you own who you are and drop the charade. Then you’ll be your true self and people will gravitate towards you. It is not a quick fix and it does not happen overnight.

Title	How to ask a girl to dance at the club?
Author	KevinABV63
Upvotes	48
Comments	22
Date	May 16, 2021 11:42 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ndmjvv/how_to_ask_a_girl_to_dance_at_the_club/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-ask-a-girl-to-dance-at-the-club.1284309 https://theredarchive.com/post/1284309

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