First date! Ever...

curi · 2015-04-21T09:13:39+00:00

if she finds out your history, and you think it makes you a loser, there's a very high probability she will think so too. and if you get sympathy like "oh i feel so sorry for you", she won't be attracted, girls prefer to date a man not a victim.

the best thing to do is don't mention it. in the long run, you should change your attitude. but for now, the main thing is: never make any excuse like, "i'm sorry i messed X up, i lack experience". don't have statements like that in your head, even if you don't say them.

if you don't know how to handle something specific, try to find out in advance. you may be able to find out more than you think, like if you get Mystery's TV show "the pickup artist", they did some kissing training in one of the episodes. watching it is not real life practice, but it's much better than nothing.

a better way to make excuses, if you must, is to have the attitude that this girl you're with is a unique individual, and you just don't know all the details of how she likes to handle dates, how she likes to be kissed, etc.

if you say, "i don't know how to kiss, sorry if i do it wrong" you are a loser. if you say, "i believe kissing each girl is different, and it may take us some time to get the hang of it with each other, no big deal", that isn't so bad. if you just kiss her and it sucks, she'll honestly probably blame herself and expect to figure it out with some more practice with you. you've seen people kiss on TV. don't do anything they don't do and she won't be blaming you, relax. kissing and touching is more about atmosphere and vibe than the physical mechanics anyway.

keep in mind no matter what happens, there are millions more girls out there. at any time if you learn the skills to deal with them well, you'll find plenty. this is not a precious unique opportunity you have now. think of it as mostly a learning experience as you move on to better things, rather than as the girl you will marry. and if it goes well, great, you can roll with that.

also don't be super tentative. doing something very slowly won't make it more appealing or fix any mistakes. if you are going to do something, just do it. i know it's tempting to hesitate, but it's better to just give it your best shot and don't drag stuff out.

Nikkanai · 2015-04-21T10:17:36+00:00

Most important thing is to smile and be relaxed. If you are terrified and cannot be relaxed just fake it, or at least try to. But smiling is crucial.

I am not sure if restaurant is good idea (for 1st meeting), I think taking her for a coffee would be nice. Because its not engaging like restaurant. (You dont need to wear a suit, book table etc)

Kissing is easy. You will catch it just after you start. Just do it gently, until you will be comfortable with it. Kiss a cheek, neck then lips. You can hide your lack of experience behind mask of gentleness.

Remember: fear is more scary than the thing you want to do.

nicechallenge · 2015-04-21T12:23:55+00:00

Don't be afraid to escalate and be relaxed. In my first date ever like 2 months ago I didn't escalate probably the fear of rejection was the cause. She was really into me but because of this she flaked anyway it was a great learning experience.

2015-04-21T12:36:38+00:00

I think you need to take a step back and look at this for what it is.

A girl is going on a date with you.

A lot of material over the years has talked about investment indicating attraction. Going on a date is a fucking huge amount of investment. In fact any time a girl spends with you is an IOI. If you talk to a girl on the street for example, and she stands there, without running away or macing you, it's an IOI. She could be doing infinite other things, she knows countless men, and she's listening to you. If she's just standing there you can (not will, but you can) fuck her. Not walking away on the street is an IOI.

Now you're situation is different... in that it's even stronger. She's actually spending time to go out with you. There are lot's of things you could be doing today that you like. So why are you going on this date? Oh because you find yourself attracted to her and you'd like to fuck someone? Guess what... she has the same answer. It's mutual.

Pan0ptimist · 2015-04-21T13:58:53+00:00

My advice for this scenario? Keep it short. No dinner or movies. Just grab one drink or a cup of coffee. Set it up like "are you free early evening Wednesday? I am meeting some friends at 8 but we could connect around 7 for a drink". Not having to end the date takes a lot of pressure off. You can enjoy one another's company and then part ways at a high point.

Don't tell her that this is your first date. There really is no need at this stage. Be charming, and be sure to demonstrate kindness to your host/hostess and your waiter/waitress. This will impress her.

Don't be afraid to use the phrase "tell me more".

ImPhilosopher · 2015-04-21T09:47:45+00:00

I can smell lack of confidence here. You should read the basic..

Title	First date! Ever...
Author	newdate2015
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	April 21, 2015 8:32 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/33c216/first_date_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-date-ever.1286548 https://theredarchive.com/post/1286548

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