Need to stop subconsciously living to impress women. How?

GrandMasterB19 · 2020-07-11T10:27:31+00:00

So when you were a little kid you were doing shit just to impress women?

Start doing shit to impress yourself. It's natural to do things to impress women because sex is truly most people's main motivation in life. And the consumer market exploits this to infinity. This is why we literally live in a sex culture. If you want to break out of this cycle then stop worrying about impressing women and worry about impressing yourself.

I won't lie to you, part of why I take good care of myself and dress well is because I want to impress women. But I don't buy shit to impress women, I do it to impress myself. When I look in the mirror I want to feel like a hot and sexy man with a cool sense of style because it makes me feel good about myself. Not to get attention from women. I feel like a total douchebag saying that, but when I started focusing on impressing myself I gained way more confidence than I ever did trying to impress women.

Plus, it's feminine energy because that's what women do. Women buy shit to show off and impress other people. Men don't do that. Masculine men do shit to impress themselves, if other people get impressed in the process, then cool, but it's just collateral damage.

STD_Tyler · 2020-07-11T10:27:01+00:00

So what man? This may motivate you to work harder and improve yourself. Why do you think 99% of men go to gym and left heavy ass weights? For their health ? lol . There is nothing wrong in bettering your life to get laid...

Scorchyy · 2020-07-11T21:20:04+00:00

Look up The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins

huncho_foreign · 2020-07-11T21:55:04+00:00

Yea bruh. I do things to impress myself. When you fail and have that inner drive to improve yourself you’ll become a better person. Women want dudes that have a direction and self sustaining ability to improve themselves

Queen-of-meme · 2020-07-12T05:33:13+00:00

Would it help if you knew that the best girls are those who wouldn't be impressed by your money, status or fancy cars?

This game only works on girls who are insercure and shallow. Not the real women.

DR_Lift171 · 2020-07-12T15:01:13+00:00

Look at your values. Seriously. Do everything you can to taste life. Challenge yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Afterwards, spend time alone and reflect on them. Then go test your reflections. You'll find qualities about yourself that you like and may want to embolden within yourself, and ones you don't. Life is constantly this: an eagerness to grow, learn and reflect. But to do that, you need to go fight the dragon. And you need to develop the skills to fight the dragon, otherwise life is gonna keep kicking your ass.

Im not trying to be a dick, but the subtext is that you seem to place too much of a value on external validation. That dragon you may want to get strong enough to fight is placing too much value on external validation.

"If i get X, i'll get more girls"

You're associating getting X with APPEARING strong, and what other people think. So nothing about anything you're doing is genuinely for yourself, its for some fantasy girl. If you're familiar with Harry Potter, You're Prof. Lockhearting yourself. You're falling into the trap, and its not STRONG at all. Its shallow, and you lack the personal identity to feel comfortable enough deciding what YOU want. That facade crumbles real quick, is easy to sense, and if you have no ACTUAL values behind that, you have nothing to offer. The world rules you, you don't rule your world.

So many people fall for this trap. Falling into the materialism. Maybe you don't know what you actually want for yourself. And that's ok. Realizing that is what most people miss, and they spend an eternity just chasing superficial things for the sake of other people. In the end, you end up unhappy because the people you end up attracting are the same: There values are shallow, have no personal boundaries, and every action they take is some.

"The things you own end up owning you"

This is the case if you don't decide for yourself what your values are. You end up looking to date anyone because your values aren't clearly established, the only thing that matters is attention. And they can't even give you that, because the partner you attracted doesn't have any genuine values of their own.

The answer is probably one most people don't want to hear. At your current state, you just aren't ready. Any attempt is just going to be you getting burnt. At this point, it's not a numbers game. And if it is, the numbers you're pulling are the ones you'll find to not even want. It'll be empty. If you're familiar with the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, you're not mature enough to go fight Ganondorf. You need to go through your metaphorical temples, face danger, and you'll develop your values.

From there, you'll have something to stand on, and YOU decide what you want, instead of this flimsy pile of clothes, or these muscles that haven't actually been put to use. You can do these things, like dress well and take care of yourself, but its FOR YOU, and NOT for anyone else. You do these things because YOU decide you value them, and you have a personal philosophy as to why.

Lastly, i'm not denouncing external validation. We're people, and sometimes we need people to tell us when we're doing well, especially if we're new to something. It can serve as a temporarily useful guide when we're just beginning to figure things out. Like when we just start playing an instrument, a new job, etc. But after a while, that weight has to shift back onto us.

To wrap things up, take the long way to finding your home. It will be worth it. Spend the time on yourself, fight your demons and go see what you're made of. Be honest. From there, you'll develop a relationship with yourself that no other person could've previously matched. You'll learn how and why to qualify who is and isn't worthy of your time. I think you'll find the answer to your problem when you do that.

ejay1250 · 2020-07-11T18:23:28+00:00

Get a steady girlfriend? Easiest thing to do would be remove the common denominator. If you dont have to impress multiple women you wont have that mentality.

Pulse_reddit · 2020-07-12T02:34:51+00:00

getting better is good but getting better FOR others is not. the fundamental shift in mindset comes once we realized WE are the gatekeepers who decide who we let ourselves to have deeper relationships (good friends, close friends, girls etc) with and the rest as arm length relationships.

once we realized this then we will constantly qualify the people we meet if they are COMPATIBLE with ourselves. this allows us to be our true selves, improve ourselves to the right direction and live with the people who truly makes ourselves happy.

Title	Need to stop subconsciously living to impress women. How?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	21
Date	July 11, 2020 10:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hp7pdv/need_to_stop_subconsciously_living_to_impress/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-to-stop-subconsciously-living-to-impress.1288477 https://theredarchive.com/post/1288477

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