How do you find out what is wrong with yourself?

Swag-O · 2015-07-12T05:35:28+00:00

I used to be like that, too, and I did find out why. Four years later I can say my problem is gone. I won't go too much into the details because you did not give a lot of info but I'll tell you how basically what happened to me. If you can relate to my story just tell me and I will be able to give you more info and help you out a bit.

I realized one day that I was very socially awkward. I had low confidence and that made me unable to speak my mind like I would have liked or to talk back to people who would pick on me. It also kept me from having many friends and made me almost incapable of creating bonds with new people. I didnt realize all of that for a long time, until one night where I understood why my life was so boring.
The 3 years that followed were just me trying different things to acquire better social skills and I can say that today I'm happy about the confident person that I became.

I don't know if you are in the same situation that I was in but I hope I can still help you.

EDIT: Also, what /u/ecdw said is very true. Through my quest for social skills I slowly realized that what I needed was to be able to express my true self and manage to live the life that I wanted live. In the end, I did not "gain" social skills. I am still a bit clumsy in conversations sometimes and I don't always know what to say, but that is not important because I now have self confidence and I'm not affraid to interact with people, wether it be by confronting them or bonding with them. I know myself better than I did and I know what I can bring to people

ecdw · 2015-07-12T03:46:54+00:00

You're looking at this like you can just follow a step by step guide and boom, figure out what's wrong with your life/self. The process of understanding who you are and your strengths and weaknesses is a personal one and it is a long process. Self-awareness is your goal. People achieve this through many means. Talk therapy, meditation, writing, art, creativity, smoking weed and philosophizing about life, seeking advice from people you admire. All of these things can give you little nuggets of wisdom and insight into your own life. The point is, if you feel something is missing or wrong, you should seek to find self awareness in general, not "what steps can I take to answer Question X." Seek to find the truth about who you are and what you want and let that guide you in your life, and that will help you in all aspects, not just socially. Ask yourself where am I at emotionally? Mentally? Intellectually? Physically? Am I living a life that fulfills me and gives me purpose? What do I really want? Am I living according to my principles and desires or others? The goal of self improvement should not be achieving standards set by society or others around you, to fit in. It should be about living a life as true to yourself, on your terms, as you possibly can. Figuring out what matters to you and what you want and letting that motivate you to bring those things into your life, because it fulfills you and makes you a whole human being-not because it gets other people to like you.

cmiovino · 2015-07-12T17:18:18+00:00

Read NMMNG by Robert Glover. I sounds to me like this is your issue. You're probably trying to please others and not yourself, thus leading to people using you, not paying attention, etc. It's also very unattractive for both sexes for someone to be needy like that.

JessePinkman88 · 2015-07-12T06:15:20+00:00

It's most likely that there are parts of yourself that you are ashamed of. You are probably aware of some of these.

People hide they're shame, therefore they are holding back expressing themselves which makes them less trustworthy to others.

Does this ring any bells for you?

I recommend reading No More Mr Nice Guy and there will definitely be things that you'll relate to in that book and be like "yeah, I do that but I didn't realise it was a needy behavior".

If you are still struggling, it might be helpful to join a support group or see a psychologist/therapist. They will be able to tell you things about yourself that you do not realise also.

TruRedditor89 · 2015-07-12T17:37:27+00:00

They Say you're the last person to know who you are. Ask someone you trust, preferably your closest friend. I don't know if you have any brothers or sisters but you can ask them as well. Tell them that you want the absolute truth and you will not be offended, that you're trying to better yourself

Avicenna1 · 2015-07-13T01:54:07+00:00

LSD, if ur willing to try it

Title	How do you find out what is wrong with yourself?
Author	winterman123
Upvotes	25
Comments	13
Date	July 12, 2015 3:02 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3cz7ln/how_do_you_find_out_what_is_wrong_with_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-find-out-what-is-wrong-with-yourself.1292843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1292843

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