We all know attraction works differently between women and men, meaning things that attract men to women are different than what attracts women to men...but after that attraction sparks why do men know definitively they like X, when women still seem so wish washy about X

djdante · 2017-05-18T23:25:54+00:00

Well i think there are some erronious assumptions here...

Even if you haven't had a lot of female friends to ask, simply pick up a few romance novels - Women are certainly capable of, and often do get head over heals for a guy, and start thinking about him all the time, and getting a tad obsessed...

There is a whole world of women being hurt because they're all obsessed with a guy and he doesn't seem to notice she exists, or cant make up his mind if he likes her or not.

However we get fixated if it hasn't happened to us, but we always do it with women. Understandably that becomes frustrating.

The only difference you do have with women is that women are less looks oriented and more sexually plastic than men - so they can initially have no sexual interest in a guy, then get to know him and an emotional switch flips and she suddenly wants to jump his bones - This doesn't happen to men so much because of the way our sexual chemistry works.

So in short..

Women and men both have the experience of instnatly falling for someone but they seem not to know their own feelings.

Women are much more capable than men of suddenly finding themselves interested in a guy they initially didn't because she got turned on emotionally, and suddenly find the guy sexy where she didn't before.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-05-19T04:55:49+00:00

__1__

We all know attraction works differently between women and men, meaning things that attract men to women are different than what attracts women to men...

I've mixed freely with men and women throughout my life and at the end of the day, there are far more similarities. Especially if you're privy to their inner thoughts on every stage of dating. While there are some different cultural norms between the two, attraction isn't that different between them.

It's not accurate or helpful to think of attraction as different for women.

but after that attraction sparks why do men know definitively they like X, when women still seem so wish washy about X

This doesn't define all men, or all women. Maybe it defines you and the women you interact with. Wishy-washiness transcends gender, as does knowing definitively what one wants.

What you're identifying here is:

That guys frequently place themselves in the position of pushing and initiating everything, and then they take it too far, to where the girl's only role in the interaction, is to constantly put on the brakes or think about whether they need to slow it down.
And if one is constantly pushing, the girl doesn't have room to express her own initiative, instead she will focus on constantly approving or disapproving of all the pushing the guy is doing.

__2__

And this hasn't even gotten into the problem of the assumption that "men know definitively" that they "like" a girl, while that girl will be wishy-washy. NO man should think they definitively like a girl before they get to know her. If you're investing so heavily before anything has happened, that's going to come off desperate.

__3__

I remember one pua who said, game is unassuming, it's not obvious, the girl just starts becoming attracted and likes that feeling. Meaning the best pua would never come off as a player because he's just smooth as hell.

Close, but not quite. It's not that one doesn't come off as a player because they're so "smooth." Though many personalities may convince themselves of this.

It's unassuming and not obvious because all that game really is, is socializing. It's not really about the tricks. It's just talking, being comfortable in your own skin and comfortable being in a girl's space. So a guy who's just working a room, won't look "gamey" if he knows what he's doing because he won't be trying to game.

__4__

So why the hell are women always so wishy washy even after they start to like a guy? It's almost like women have no clue their attracted to a guy they just love being around him so they do it more when they like X.

What exactly are you talking about when you talk about "wishy washy?" If you're talking about a girl who puts the brakes on a guy who keeps pushing and pushing.

Women know when they're attracted and they know when a guy is interested in them and trying to get with them.

__5__

Unlike us guys, when we like girl X we know it, we revolve our mind all around her, we think about her constantly, we think of what to do around her, what we're gonna say to her, and how we'll find any excuse to try to hang out with her next.

Wrong. What you're describing is the mindset that leads to very poor technique. Pushing too hard, and pushing the girl away. That's why you'd see "wishy-washy" girls. They're picking up on how you don't see to your own life and focus on them too much.

Any excuse to hang with them? Fuck that. You should have your own life. Sex, women, dating, it's all great stuff, but the moment you make it so much of your life, as you describe here, that's the moment that you aren't getting any of it. Or what you get, isn't great.

__6__

So again, why do women not seem to have this definitive logic that says I like this guy, I'm goin after him! It's almost as if their oblivious to the fact they're attracted to them.

Nope. What you're seeing are women who aren't being given the opportunity to initiate. Instead they have to expend all their energy either fending off a guy or figuring out if they really want this guy who's pushing so hard without paying attention to them.

KOK-KingOfKings · 2017-05-19T01:43:27+00:00

"Unlike us guys, when we like girl X we know it, we revolve our mind all around her, we think about her constantly, we think of what to do around her, what we're gonna say to her, and how we'll find any excuse to try to hang out with her next."

You have the 'wrong' (not advantageous) perspective/paradigm/feelings/outlook

Women have options and don't NEED to pick. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90qpDg5y7Lo

You are operating in scarcity and get 'obsessed' with one girl you think she is special, as I put it 'you're putting that pussy on a pedistal' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsnXQdkqChg

It's not that women don't know when they like a guy, you are making generalizations cause guess what... You are not THAT guy.

I Am THAT guy, very often:

The guy women fuck, talk about about how they are unhappy with their relationship and get advice on their bf
The guy who gets to fuck/date multiple women at once and put them in their place when they try to assume control over my sexual rights (forced monogamy)
The guy who when focus on my life has women chasing him, making ME a priority

I'm not trying to belittle you, or self-aggrandize, I'm trying to show you that your thoughts are self-defeating/self-value-depleting. You are you're own worst enemy and the sooner you get out of your own way the sooner you will have the satisfying relationships you desire.

So now that you know what you are doing wrong, how do you stop, right? #1

AND

Once you stop, how do you not just stop hurting yourself but actually better yourself? #2

1

You need a paradigm shift, you need to stop seeing women as something special and see them as just other people your equals and peers. They are not the end goal, the prize, they are just like your friend, someone you chill and talk with while you focus on your goals for your life. You need to start seeing them for the failable people they are and stop ascribing them god-like status. Like when you were a child and your parents seemed like these monoliths of, knowledge, status, power, they were impervious and all powerful, you had no idea how to defy them for more than a short period of time. Then you grew older and you realized they were just stupid people fumbling through life making the best choices they knew how with the information they had available.

As a general rule people don't fall in love with a person, they fall in love with their idea of that person. Try not fantasizing about the person, or relationship, just stay focused on the present. Enjoy her while she's with you, enjoy your conversations, sex, companionship. When you are not together be present with your friends, have things going on in your life, be absorbed in your interests, don't spend much time dwelling on one person/people.

You might not think it now but you are living and thinking in a way that makes women the the sun around which your planet revolves. You may wish for a woman who is as interested and devoted to you as you are to her, but when you improve yourself beyond where you are today you will see you don't want to be with a woman who is a clingy need shit stick. At present Your thoughts & feelings affect your behavior and non-verbal signalling process, and make you less appealing to women.

2

Women don't want to be your focus, even if on the surface that's what it seems like, people like a thing they have to strive for, not something that comes too easily. Even if a woman want's to be adored by you she'd rather be with a man that made here earn that adoration, it just means more. It's the same as the difference between when you gave a gift to your mom and she said she loved it cause you are here baby VS when you give a gift you put a lot of time and thought into and someone sees that and shows you how grateful and special you have made them feel. When you make a woman 'earn' (the earning is the gift) your adoration (appreciation for the gift) it's so much more rewarding for them to know you love them for who they are and what they do. Right now you are probably (yes I am assuming) just pussy worshiping hotties because of how hot they are. If you are honest with yourself it's pretty shallow, women want a man that cares about them as a human being, even if it's only a one night stand.

So priority one is have who you are, and what you revolve around, be an interest/subject/whatever that you are passionate about, NOT a woman.

I wanted to write more on #2 but I have gotten distracted and forgotten some of my points. This last part might be a tangent, maybe you need to here this too, or maybe someone who does will spot this topic.

Friend Zone: Girls get a lot of flak for the 'friend zone' but undeservedly so, the friend zone exists because YOU failed to either 1. Assert your interest 2. Capture here interest OR 3. Dip out after you saw it was not going anywhere. Girls catch the blame but really WTF it's the guys being shitty acting like they are interested in being the girls friend and hoping they can use that as emotional leverage to get into the pussy. If you replace pussy with money they people would see it more clearly that it's shitty if you were trying to be friends with someone in the hopes they would share their money with you, but you replace money with pussy and the women are bitches. NO guys need to OWN it and be upfront about their true intentions/interests.

I hope something I said helps ;)

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