Are guys who forego the marriage, family and kids part meant to go through life without community or tribe to be a part of?

plowzedong · 2018-04-19T07:28:06+00:00

Until very recently, most of society was sex segregated. If you sought out the company of women and children in order to find "community," people would think there is something wrong with you.

Furthermore, have you spoken with many married guys? Usually their lives suck. I would much rather hang out with men would prioritize their health and purpose, not guys who feel stuck or lucky to be in some awful relationship.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-04-19T05:26:51+00:00

____1____

Think of the guy who would do things like learning cold approach, sexual strategy and those things to make himself better. The kind of guy who would learn to improve himself and things of that nature.

Very likely, he will enter is 30s not married with a kid but I wonder if that guy is meant to be robbed of community and social life because of it.

Okay so off-hand, there are some assumptions you're making here, apparently.

Namely that

A guy who blooms late will not be married by his 30s.
That this late bloomer improving his social skills will necessarily NOT learn how to actually interact with people, and will instead only focus on casual sex. The idea that "seduction" is only for setting up that revolving door of sex with people who don't matter.
That being married = community and social life.

Which is funny because:

Late bloomers are just as capable of marrying at or around 30.
Actually developing social skills associated with "seduction" actually increases the chances that one will be capable of finding and making communities and social lives for themselves.
And being married often stands in direct opposition to having any "community" or social life outside of the family. Or extended family if they have one. Statistically, people tend to pull away from social scenes after they pair up, marry, and start a family.

The problem is not the issue that one is foregoing "community" by not being married. Usually being married leads to some degree of isolatedness by default. The problem is that community is often built for us by things like attendance in school or workplaces, and we often don't know how to build it ourselves.

____2____

Most people around his age at say 35 are married with kids and have a family, they will want to be around others just like them and to him, they would really just be lame people he does not want to spend time with.

So who does he have left now that most people around his age are all married with kids?

This assumes a narrow idea about what community is. It's not just the people you went to high school with or people who are "your age."

In reality, community includes people of different ages, regardless of the typical experience we have of often hanging out only with people who are within a year or two of our own age.

If you actually get out there and cross-pollinate a bit, you'll find that there are plenty of ways to socialize that involve people with far wider age ranges involved.

I've grown accustomed to groups that vary in age maybe 10-15 years between the oldest and the youngest in the group. At least. In such groups, some cycle in and out all the time. Younger ones move away for grad school or something. Some older ones marry and spin off into their own worlds. Younger or older people alike join up after moving. And so on.

____3____

As for what these groups look like, you just have to do some digging.

Hash runs. Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets. Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers.
Social partner dancing. Salsa, Lindy Hop, West Coast Swing, Argentine Tango, etc. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. (Just respect it as an activity & means of self-improvement first, and place to meet women second.)

All these things seem to attract a range of people. "Old-timers" who stick around and younger folk who rotate in around college age or so.

Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.
Or do a search on FB for groups or events related to things you're interested in. You can freely browse the people going to an event or people in a group, to get some feel about what they're like.

CollaterLDamage · 2018-04-19T14:57:40+00:00

It's all in what you value. Do you only value pickup? If so, you'll forever be chasing the dragon. If you value friendships and relationships, you can easily use the skills you learned in pua to make friends and establish LTR.

I don't get how a pua can be robbed of a social life, it's literally all your doing. You can stay friends with your married friends. As it always has been, you need to establish your own interests and hobbies and should have multiple social groups.

BozoCardozo · 2018-04-19T04:22:54+00:00

Wtf are you talking about

donkeykong69xxx · 2018-04-19T05:16:36+00:00

No. He find community and kinship anyhow. He has fun. Enjoys life. Does not need to wash the diaper. He make money for himself and lives as a warlock of his own destiny. If there is one way to describe him it's that he's always ready for more. Hell, even Buddha was a single man.

Title	Are guys who forego the marriage, family and kids part meant to go through life without community or tribe to be a part of?
Author	altougha2
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	April 19, 2018 4:20 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8dc04x/are_guys_who_forego_the_marriage_family_and_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/are-guys-who-forego-the-marriage-family-and-kids.1300641 https://theredarchive.com/post/1300641

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