It's been a year since I started following this community and tried applying its principles in my life. Until then I was what I would call with much desperation a kissless virgin - however as of last Tuesday this title no longer applies for me. I have had a steady if slow progression in this area of my life, and it is absolutely ravishing to see concrete evidence of what I've been trying to prove to myself: I am a sexual being that is no different than your average person (in a positive sense of the term), and I can find and create attraction.

Without more bla-bla, here's what happened:

I just came back from a festival-like event in a different city to which pretty much everyone from my campus participated and there was a social event for each evening. On Day 3 (that's Tuesday) a party was organised in a small enclosed area of a football (soccer for you Americans) stadium, and the brochure that described it said "Prepare yourselves for a night you won't forget", little did I know that was a lot more true than I imagined.

The party started in the evening and I was happily sipping my cheap-if-mediocre beer while dancing alongside friends. I was just enjoying myself and fooling around, doing silly dance moves (kind of got a reputation for that since I started uni this year). After a while I started jumping from dancing circle to dancing circle, using people I know as anchor points that allow me to open up the others (having even one person you know while approaching new people is a fantastic method IMO). At some point I was dancing with this one girl from my campus, and I actually managed to get a surprising amount of kino with here, though there were other people around and I didn't want to try anything too risky. Still, good vibes are good vibes, so I went around dancing some more.

The Approach

That's when I encountered the girl of the story, dancing with one of her friends if I recall correctly. Not someone very close in my social circles, especially since she's one year above me, but we had some language courses in common. I believe the whole thing was standing on four pillars, and I managed to get three of them right but fucked one up, which had its repercussions in the following days.

Isolation: Very soon after we started dancing, the aforementioned friend of the girl disappeared. This meant that it was just me and her dancing, and nobody from our campus to notice. No fear of rumours afterwards, more eagerness from both sides.

Compliance: Throughout this night there was a move that I was using, both because it's fun, and because it's a fantastic way of gauging a girl's compliance: Starting to descend more and more while dancing. So I did this with her, and of course she joined me. It's a great method for a simple reason: if the girl follows through, that means I've got something going, and it inadvertently gets both sides closer, which leads to...

Kino: Now that we were alone and she was compliant, I started escalating very rapidly. Now I've used to have no idea about how to use dance to kino before, so I think being a bit more precise in what I did might help those who felt the same way before: A nice segue from the aforementioned descending move is doing it again, this time with hands on the girl's waist. You get closer and closer and before you know it you're grinding, at least that's what happened for me.

And at that point I did something I had never done before: eye contact, left hand on the girl's cheek and... BOOM! I had never thought it would be this easy. I knew for a while that the whole hype I was creating about kissing was in my head, and it was very reassuring to finally get a confirmation. And to be honest, there's a lot, and I mean a lot of room for error in this part: After this point the whole thing was very sloppy, I mean that was the first time I kissed someone so I'm guessing it wasn't particularly good, I actually got out of sync while dancing, yet we kept going, and my fears were baseless.

At this point I wanted to escalate further and go to a more isolated location, so I used the typical "It's getting hot here" line. Cheesy, I know, but it was actually getting rather heated. So we went outside, her holding my hand, but it didn't really go as planned. I failed a simple thing:

Don't hesitate: At this point the small pause with us walking worked against me: when we were standing outside I simply didn't know how to re-escalate the situation so nothing really happened. We just sat somewhere and started chatting, which I appreciate, but it certainly could have been better. We then went back inside, saw some other people from the campus and started dancing with them, but she disappeared at a moment when I wasn't looking and left early.

The next day wasn't that bad when we saw each other again, no awkwardness or anything, though nothing really happened and I didn't really go out of my way for it. There was another party for Wednesday night and I was also counting on the fact that it could take off again there if there was a chance. Well, I was wrong, she seemed utterly tired at the party when I crossed her, sitting with other people from my campus. I urged people to dance and extended my hand to her in particular, but I got a no so I went on my way. Today was slightly weirder, on the other hand, and when I tried to do some small talk when I saw her it didn't really lead anywhere, so I stopped trying at this point. She's leaving town tomorrow and she won't be coming back next year, so it's not like I'm missing out an opportunity.

Truth be told, I'm quite happy with the way things turned out. This whole year has been a massive change for me, and I think a great deal comes from Seddit. So thanks for reading!