Backstory

We were co-workers and had been on a date months ago, but nothing happened. She was recovering from a (LTR) breakup and I did some things that came off as needy. I asked her out on two dates within 10 days despite her telling me she wanted to take it slow. I realized I fucked up when she distanced herself a bit.

I read a few posts on dealing with rejections and understood that I should not take rejections personally. It basically means we are incompatible, and not that something is wrong with my personality. If you can't fit a square piece in a circular gap, you look further for a circular piece to fill the gap and not cry over the square.

I begun by acting as if I was not affected by her rejection at all. I did feel a little sad, but I wanted to improve the situation and not let the outcome affect me. I continued being the same - still flirting with her, making jokes, being confident, and having meaningful conversations. She enjoyed all of it and upon positive responses, I continued. This battle of getting over the rejection inadvertently turned into a mission to win her back. What I had not realize was I was actually developing strong feelings for her without the assurance of dating her. I became a stubborn motherfucker who wanted to fit the square in the circular gap! This went on a while until she moved to a different position and I started seeing less of her. I started getting over the one-itis, improving my life (inner-game), going on dates and generally enjoying life.

Story

Well, recently we ran into each other at a bar. I am sitting on a table with some friends having a good time and enjoying the evening when someone taps on my shoulder. I turn around and to my surprise she greets me with a big smile and a tight hug. It honestly felt good, but I try not to think much of it. We talk for a minute or two and then go back to our groups. My friends tell me how cute she is and my close friend tells me she was all over me, so I should try to seal the deal. Although I wanted to see more of her after that, I knew it was not emotionally healthy for me. I was also aware of her tipsyness and don't act on my friend's suggestion.

The bar closes shortly after that and I find her standing next to me as my group exits the bar. She sees me and hugs me tightly. I hug her back and just let go - smell her hair, run my hand along her back and waist, let her rest her head on my chest, and ALL MY FEELS ARE COMING BACK! She does not seem to mind it and puts her arm around my waist. I am about 4 pints down at this point so a little buzzed, but impaired nonetheless. I am liking what is happening.

We decide to walk home together as we live close. She is super flirty and touchy throughout the walk home. She has her hands around my waist, hugging me multiple times when we briefly stop, holding hands and giving me all the indications of how much she wants me. She even tells me to come see her dog, which confirms her intention. I am able to tell she has had quite a bit, and I decide not to take advantage of this situation. I am thinking with my head than my head and have made up my mind to not f-close. I don't want it to be a one night stand and let this fuck with my mind if she tells me it was a mistake when we wake up. Instead I ask her out for coffee and she agrees. We are close to my house when all of a sudden she asks where I live, and upon telling her, she tells me she is okay to walk home from there. I am a little surprised and confirm if she wants to do that. She assures me she will be fine, and I am okay with this since I don't intend to f-close anyway. I want to see her again during the day and talk to her when she is sober and aware of what is going on. She hugs me tightly and looks deep into my eyes for a few seconds. I am looking in to her eyes and thinking "Is this really happening? Did I really turn this around!?". As she is looking at me, she does the triangle between my eyes and the lips for a little over two second. I am like "Fuck! I know what this means!", but before I act she hugs me again and tells me she will see me the next day for coffee.

I feel relieved I asked her out for coffee as I get to see her again, but I had a strong feeling she would flake. And not to my surprise, she did not respond to my text for the coffee date. It was confirmed that the alcohol was controlling her emotions, and I am glad I did not act based on her actions. Who knows what changed her mind? Anyway, I have removed her number and decided to seriously move on. I may have blown it by not kissing her, but that is fine. I have other women to date and a better man to be.

P.S. I may have made the girl appear in negative light, but I don't intend to. She is a nice person. I fucked up big time and wanted to repair the whole situation, but it probably got worse after each attempt. I just want to let this out of my system, get over it, and receive any constructive criticism. Thank you for reading!