So this is my first post to /r/seduction, I hope this is the right place for it :)

Excuse the length of this post, just a bit of background and proper explanation of my question.

As someone who has spent the past 12 months losing a fair amount of weight and going from a stereotypical overweight and pasty IT guy who never goes out to an increasingly trim, tanned guy who spends most weekends camping/hiking etc I've gone through a lot of drastic changes to become the person I want to be.

Although I'm quietly proud of my achievements so far and know that I look much better than I did, I've always been one of those guys who ends up with women he's known for at least a week or two. A complete stranger to the concept of talking to strange women in public.

There've been a number of times recently where I've been out and there've been women that have caught my attention and I don't mean in a 'wow shes hot!' kinda way (well not just that way :p) but as in someone I'd actually like to meet. I know that shes only a person and theres no reason she should be intimidating especially given my otherwise strong and dominant personality, yet as much as I hate myself for it and really try to essentially force myself to go over there... I just can't.

I know the majority of responses - if any at all - will be 'man up and stop complaining. Just go do it' and I know you're right but my usual calm collected self disappears and the thought of actually going over there genuinely frightens me. I guess its the fear of rejection and a mix of feelings of inadequacies through a combination of self-confidence issues remaining from the old me and the disappointment in myself that I can't even go talk to her.

I've got a naturally large frame (and thats not code for lazy and overweight) so the result of so much gym has been a reasonable amount of muscle bulk. I still have a little bit of a gut but nothing abnormal. My arms and legs are quite toned I guess a large portion of my remaining confidence issues is the fact that every time I see a truly attractive women shes always with a scrawny guy and it takes a special type of person to want the broad, muscular type I have no choice but to be.

I guess the real question I have is where the hell do I start? What can I do to stop being such a gutless pussy? Every time I back down from it I hate myself more than anyone else ever could and its really getting to me.

My worst one yet: I was out for a mate and his gf a couple of months ago... we're sitting there and I notice an attractive woman about my age (23) across the room sitting by herself at a table and looking bored as hell. My mate's gf is insisting she keeps looking over at me and as I glance over shes looking right at me and gives me a massive grin. I'm still too much of a pussy and don't do anything about it. Ugh.

I then get the ultimatum - either I go over there or the mate's gf will. I call her bluff and within seconds shes talking to this chick. She comes back and tells me 'she said she thinks you're cute... you gotta go over there now'. I still don't (self-loathing increases).

5 minutes later a few of her friends are back and one of them brings over a bit of paper with a name and number on it. Yep, just got a number without even having the balls to stand up. I finally force myself to go over after a few mins and when I get there I realise I've put so much emphasis on even approaching her that I have no clue what I'm doing. My usual self is long gone and I become a shy, awkward loser. Not surprisingly I never heard from her again. I know exactly what I did wrong (which is absolutely everything from start to finish) but could not push myself to do anything different.

Any ideas would be awesome reddit. I'm an otherwise very social person and love meeting new people. I just can't being myself to meet new women by myself.