Online dating: ideal first message ?

Fiat_Justicia · 2019-05-12T19:18:35+00:00

Usually they want to toss a few messages back and forth before they agree to coffee to make sure you're not a nutter/psycho.

Women often say they like to hear you reference something specific from their profile to prove that you read it. This might be unrealistic given the sheer number of approaches men have to make to get a response, but some women simply won't reply if you don't do this. In fairness, you do want to make sure you have some kind of comment that can kick off a conversation.

If she really likes your photos/profile, you might squeak by without these things, but they improve your chances.

SlyderKmK · 2019-05-13T00:57:43+00:00

If she has a bio up, and you find something in it that you can talk about with some intelligence, then that's always a good opener.

For example...if she has a career that you're into also...or have knowledge about.

If she doesn't have a bio...then it's generally a lot harder, and I've always tried to skip those.

hunterpua · 2019-05-12T19:21:51+00:00

Ideal first message?

= She messages you first.

Anything else just puts you on the back foot from the get-go.

I mean, what are you gonna do? There will always be someone better than you.

Better looking, funnier, wittier, more interesting, etc.

So by joining the competition you simply play the numbers.

You're just hoping and praying that you're the one she picks.

Its a crapshoot.

...

So what you do instead is create as awesome of a profile as you can and then set it up so that they message you first.

First lets talk about the photos.

One of the things that can give you a big leg up is if your photos are taken with a camera that has a full sensor.

The sensor is the thing that absorbs the image and the better the sensor, the more detail can be taken in.

This is why if you've ever taken a photo of an amazing sight with your phone, it doesn't come out quite the same way it does through your eyes.

But there are cameras that can actually capture an image the way you see it with your own eyes.

Those are what you're looking for.

The reason this helps is actually because of status.

If you think about what you immediately see when you turn on the TV, its basically people who are being filmed or have their pictures taken with cameras that have full sensors.

So by getting pictures of that same quality, you make girls who look at them subconsciously feel that you're someone who has the status to be on TV.

Because the people we're used to seeing in those kinds of images are celebrities, high status figures, and newsworthy people.

Other than that, the actual photos are important too.

There are ways to take pictures well and ways to take them in a shitty way.

So either study up on some tutorials on Youtube, find a friend who knows their way around a camera, or get a photographer.

You need to also know how to pose so if you're bad at that then learn how to do it right.

Also its worth noting that the type of photo that gets the most swipes right from women are photos of men with their shirt off.

But make sure you're not just doing it in your bedroom or the bathroom or something.

It should make sense, like when you're at the pool.

And there is a hack if you're shy about your body.

If you have a gut and you prefer to not have pictures of that then you can simply take the shirtless pictures from the chest up.

That's for the primary pictures.

For the secondary ones ideally they would be candid shots of you doing cool things.

That means photos where it looks like you didn't even know someone was taking a picture of you while you were at a cool party with cool friends, doing something fun or interesting, showing off something you're really good at, etc.

...

Once you got that done you have 2 options to get girls to message you first.

Either simply use Bumble as your dating app of choice because Bumble does not allow men to send the first message so women have no choice but to start.

A bio that sparks curiosity helps girls start conversations with you on Bumble.

Something like, "I've noticed something funny about girls on this app"

Or you can use apps like Tinder but put down on the bio something like:

"I'm looking for a girl who is independent, adventurous, a risk taker, and who never shies away from an opportunity to have a great time and I've decided to only talk to girls who message me first that way I know you're actually interested."

And that's how you set it up so that they message you first.

The quantity of girls you talk to might be lower but your odds of actually making something happen will be much higher.

...

Now don't screw this up by letting them message you first but then immediately trying to impress her by making jokes or telling her something about yourself to make you look good, otherwise you just put yourself right back into the competition against those other guys where some will be inevitably better than you.

Don't try to be funny unless she tries to be funny first.

Don't try to show off your personality unless she shows off her's first.

You should take advantage of the fact that she's messaging you first.

And treat her like she's the one trying to impress you.

Think of it almost like an audition.

Give her positive feedback when she earns it and continually challenge her to do more.

So if on Bumble she sends you the first message saying, "What is it about girls on Bumble?"

You give her positive feedback for messaging your first by saying, "Good question."

And then you challenge her by saying, " Guess."

And always maintain that mindset that she is the one trying to get with you so you make her chase you.

We value that which we work hard to attain.

So let her value you.

...

This part is for everyone reading this comment

A lot of you have sent me direct messages asking for my advice because you read a comment I made on this sub, just like this one, and found it to be very helpful/insightful/meaningful and I'm happy to say I've been able to help you guys so much more because of that.

Here's the problem: More and more messages are coming in and I really want to help but its getting hard to keep up.

So I've put together a Telegram group for you guys that want to improve your dating lives and want to actually understand the psychology behind our interactions with not only women but with ourselves and people in general.

If you want to be part of a group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message with your Telegram username.

If you are serious about getting better with women then I'll be happy to welcome you in.

Title	Online dating: ideal first message ?
Author	dtothetwo
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	May 12, 2019 6:11 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bns1mq/online_dating_ideal_first_message/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/online-dating-ideal-first-message.1303540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1303540

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