I don't like to have sex on the first date...is this a problem?

pipkk · 2015-07-08T01:24:40+00:00

Possibly, they might already delegate you to a friend or find someone else between starting to date you and you two fucking. Ifs that fine by you, go ahead.

My question to you is why don't you want to have sex soon after meeting someone? I know that I know after two minutes of meeting a girl I know where my penis wants to be. It definitely helps you know if there is chemistry there asap.

lemmeseedatsushiroll · 2015-07-07T23:31:24+00:00

If she's going to lose interest bc you won't sleep with her on the first date, she's probably not the kind of girl you want to be sleeping with anyway.

I'd say more often than not, the woman will still be interested after a few dates (so long as they're going well). She may even gain more respect for you for wanting to get to know her better before hopping into bed with her.

goetz_von_cyborg · 2015-07-08T00:12:42+00:00

Nope. Not a problem. If she's just looking for sex and you don't put out then yeah she might move on but that's her prerogative.

HOWEVER, this does put out "relationship" signals so if you're not looking for that you should be honest about that up front too.

pop_rocksoul · 2015-07-08T02:58:59+00:00

There is nothing wrong with holding out on sex if you are looking for a girlfriend... however, she needs to be looking for a boyfriend at the same time. Some girls just want to hook up and may see you holding out on sex as a signal that you are looking for a relationship. It is not a bad thing and does not make you look "weak" by holding out on sex, but if that is what a particular girl is looking for, she will move on.

recyclablebantha · 2015-07-08T05:23:52+00:00

I don't like to have sex on a first date. I don't even like to have sex on the second or third, generally. I have no issue with people who do, but I just have never felt comfortable having sex with someone who I haven't known for at least one or two weeks.

Is this a problem in the dating world?

Short answer: It depends.

Longer answer: pay attention to the girl and you'll know if it's a problem for her.

What are you looking for here? Something casual or serious?

..... If I'm hooking up with a girl and she asks to have sex and I say no, will that make her lose interest?

Every girl's different. Not every girl wants sex on a timer. (Mostly the insecure ones might.) Not every girl would ask like that.

Also, stop worrying about shit that hasn't happened.

Besides which, this isn't the most likely scenario. The most likely scenario if she wants sex and you're not "putting out," is that she'd just give up and decide you're not interested and/or that you're gay.

CoffeeNSquats · 2015-07-07T23:50:29+00:00

I dont think I've ever dated a woman who I didn't sleep with on the first/second date. EDIT: If we were going to sleep together. There was a phase of my life where I wanted to save myself (belief brought from upbringing, not from personal choice) that I'm not counting into this.

Though, I don't think sex is this huge magical event. It's something that two people can enjoy together if they find the chemistry to be right.

To add to the discussion, I think there's been... 2 girls that I can remember I didn't sleep with early on for outside reasons (couldn't get it up for one, and the other just got out of a relationship and seemed kind of clingy at first). They didn't mind that I waited since the dates were fun and the interactions were interesting. Who cares what you physically do if you can mentally stimulate them more :)

lordrand11 · 2015-07-08T03:00:31+00:00

And I thought I was the only one

bidi123 · 2015-07-08T05:56:50+00:00

You are sending out gay signals (which ironically attract girls) in a way: "I only like you as my sister." This could be a double edged sword because you just LJBF yourself for her.

I am out to get sex (and maybe a relationship, maybe even with her, eventually). She offers sex. WTF are you waiting for?

I think that this is no brainer, I go for it asap and a few times before that just to reduce the eventual LMR. This is as basic game as it gets, see the prize, go for the prize, victory.

I consider a girl who didn't at least blow me to be soft NEXTed in my book and I do not consider her even a real option anymore (unless she initiates second date from her side). All my LTRs started with at least oral sex on first date, this is one of major indicators of long term stability in my experience, no sex = no LTR or worse, sexless LTR.

DaygameCoach · 2015-07-08T02:54:58+00:00

If you enjoy being placed in the friendzone, keep doing what you are doing. By two weeks women often assume you are not interested or gay, or they just lose interest.

Title	I don't like to have sex on the first date...is this a problem?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	11
Date	July 7, 2015 11:19 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3chiti/i_dont_like_to_have_sex_on_the_first_dateis_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-like-to-have-sex-on-the-first-dateis-this-a.1305645 https://theredarchive.com/post/1305645

Comments