Challenge to Seddits

intjpua · 2010-04-13T05:13:51+00:00

The best way to avoid being in the friend box is to not walk into the friend box.

You can be her friend, while not being in the friend box.

Here's how:

Just because you don't want to sleep with her to start with, doesn't mean you can't keep a simmering attraction going. You can be flirty, and playful, even if you both have monogamous relationships going on. My longest and most serious relationship started as a friendship exactly like this.
Do not reward her for laying her boy troubles on you, until she breaks up with him (at which point you console her...but only until you can get her to feeling excited at the possibilities that are now open to her...like dating you). You're not a nice guy that listens to all the boring crap. She has women friends for that. If she wants to complain about her boy troubles, you can say, "Screw that noise, let's go out and have some fun. I'll be right over to pick you up; wear something sexy." And you then proceed to flirt, dance naughtily, etc. with her and not tolerate any talk about the boyfriend. This is supportive, and distracts her from her troubles, and reminds her what an awesome dude you are, all without you acting like a woman or an AFC.
Never stop playing. The playful teasing and such that you do with a girl you just met? Yep, keep it going with her as she becomes your friend.

The attraction stuff is true at all points in the relationship. It's just so much harder when you first meet someone that the PUA materials don't bother covering the much easier time of when you already know the girl and have some rapport with her. If you get out there and meet a bunch of new girls, you will automatically do better with the old girls in your life (if you're still interested in them after meeting all the new girls).

pooflinga · 2010-04-13T19:54:22+00:00

I recently made a few posts over here about a similar problem. Basically the best thing to do is something like silvermckenzie said. Take some time away from her, and use that time to increase your value (get a job (or two!), work out, school, cool hobby), basically anything that makes you a busier (and better) person. Then when you manage to find time to hang out with her again (it should be difficult at this time, as you should be busy with everything else), she will be excited to see you again.

At this point I like to use a line "like Its been awhile! What have you been up-to lately?" She will probably give some canned response "Blah blah (same shit as last month/year)" and in return ask you the same question. That's where you get to DHV yourself by telling her about all the new/exciting things your doing. At this point she will realize how much you've changed (they love that shit), and hopefully that will change her opinion about you as well (getting yourself out of the friend zone)

Of course this only works if your personality has changed sense last time as well. Even with all the excitement in your life now, its easy for you to get lead back to the friend zone. You need to be flirty, and the push/pull at this point is critical. You cant let her think she 'has' you again. Make yourself scarce! Also don't invite her over to just 'hang out,' that's what friends do. Invite her out to do something fun with you (just like you would a date).

Listro · 2010-04-13T02:49:11+00:00

My answer on how to turn a friend to a lover ---> Fuck her

If you want a lot of information and guides and all that shit for this ONE person then you're just making yourself feel better about yourself (feeding your ego) and in the end the only one you're fucking...is yourself.

Title	Challenge to Seddits
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	April 13, 2010 2:02 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bq26o/challenge_to_seddits/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/challenge-to-seddits.1310126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1310126

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