Soul gazing...does this somehow "work"

Sublomino · 2010-05-01T22:15:23+00:00

Soul Gazing is not an NLP technique.

If you want an explanation to why soul gazing might work, check out the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, and perhaps Social Intelligence as well. I'm not sure whether gazing is talked about in the first book or the second, but there are tons of experiments done with mothers and infants where they gaze at each other in an emotional feedback loop, and they study how the child gets anxious and basically freaks out if the mother looks away for too long. If a child and mother do not gaze at each other enough, the child can grow up to be insecure and maladaptive. So yeah, I think there are plenty of reasons why "Soul Gazing" is useful not just in seduction, but in your whole emotional wellbeing as well.

Dr. Paul Ekman would say that the reason is because subtle emotions are expressed through facial micro-expressions. He is the leading expert on emotion and lie detection, and he is the inspiration for the character in the show "Lie To Me." When you gaze, subtle emotions are expressed in the face, and it creates an unconscious emotional feedback loop between you and the other person, which activates the mirror neurons in your brain. The mirror neuron makes it so that you literally feel what the other person is feeling - which is where a sense of empathy comes from. Your emotional state and the other person's becomes intertwined, and in a sense the two separate emotional systems almost becomes one system. This is where the expression "to become one" with another person comes from.

That's sort of my rant on how it works. Not as elegantly put as Daniel Goleman in his books.

Sublomino · 2010-05-01T22:14:37+00:00

Just because it's called 'soul gazing' doesn't mean it's magic.

It works because proximity creates intimacy. The act of matching your breathing consciously and together, while staring into someones eyes destroys the comfort zone barrier, and is a great segway into deeper game. I would rather call it a 'stronger percieved bond' than just a 'stronger bond.'

mynewname · 2010-05-09T20:36:21+00:00

Yes. The theory is that it works because staring at something is tantamount to taking a predatory pose. When it's consensual, you're permitting another person to essentially threaten you while you threaten back. You're making yourself very vulnerable in front of another person, as is she. The trouble is proposing it without coming off as weird.

nooneinparticular · 2010-05-03T07:30:33+00:00

Sorry for going sort of off topic, but I tried to read about NLP and here's what I thought about it: it's not scientific at all. But it is still sort of fun to read about it.

I bought the "Introduction to NLP" book that Style recommends. That book is just full of nonsense, and I'm only halfway into it. For instance, it makes all these claims about how you basically read peoples' minds by watching how their eyes move. (Stuff like this.)

And there's no evidence, whatsoever. There's just this chart, and a statement that that's how it is, except when it isn't.

I think the reason that the PUA community may have gotten into NLP is epiphenomenal: the "rules" of NLP have nothing to do with reality or science, but if you try to get in the habit of detecting whether they're accurate or not, you're going to end up paying much better attention to people.

Title	Soul gazing...does this somehow "work"
Author	CyborgTeddyRoosevelt
Upvotes	6
Comments	5
Date	April 30, 2010 3:46 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bye2c/soul_gazingdoes_this_somehow_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/soul-gazingdoes-this-somehow-work.1310260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1310260

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