I'm starting to open a bit more freely now, but I'm still having real trouble launching into a full conversation from my opener. I think that by trying to stick to routine stack I'm missing opportunities to get into a more natural conversation.

A wing and I are outside at a riverside bar in London. It's still fairly early (7.30pm) and due to it being a sunny day, many of the people there will just be enjoying a quiet drink, rather than having a big night out. I think this is important because girls will probably have a lower buying temperature under these conditions, and that could mean toning things down a bit.

On the way back to the toilet, I spot a 2 set of blondes (HB8, HB7), and open.I think it's because it's quite quiet (no music) I am more anxious, because I have it in my head that people will over hear me open and mock me. This is silly, as people won't be paying attention, and even if they are, so what? This is just a rationalization of my AA so I push through it. Because of this I am more nervous than in any set I've ever opened. The adrenalines pumping and I only just manage to stop my voice and body shaking. I really need to get over my anxiety.

Me: Hi guys. Can I just quickly get a female opinion on something?

HB8: Is it that shirt?

Me: Errr, what?

HB7: Do you want to flex so we can feel your guns?

This is interesting. This is the first time I've ever had my opener interrupted like this. This is something that is bad about being 'scripted'. When someone throws you off your script, it shakes you. The girls were teasing me. I am shortish and stocky, so it's often a case of wear a shirt that fits quite tight, or one which is too long for me. I opt for tight, and this makes my muscles really stand out. Also the shirt is bright white, with light blue stripes and so tends to make me stand out a bit (this is a good thing, I think).

I think handling stuff like this is all about frame control. It seemed slightly like a shit test, like they were trying to phase me. I think the best response, after the girl asking me about feeling my guns would be (in a joking way:

"OMG, I just came over here to ask a question, now you want to grope me? [to friend] I bet she's the type you just can't take anywhere"

Thoughts?

So this threw me a bit, so I just laughed, and continued:

Me: No, just looking for some advice about relationships. Not for me, it's my friend Chris. He's been seeing a girl for about 2 months now. Anyway, last night she went out for a girls night out. This morning she just matter of factly tells him she tounged another guy on the dance floor. He was all like, "WTF", but she reckons it doesn't count as cheating, because it was just a kiss. All my guy friends say it's cheating and to dump her. What do you guys think?

HB7: Dump her!

HB8: Yeah, that's cheating. Dump her. So had they like said they were exclusive?

Me: I don't think they ever sat down and defined the relationship

HB7: She could be trying to make him jealous, to find out how he really feels about her

Me: Ahhh. She's trying to get him to react, and that's why she told him she did it. Girl's do tend to try and be subtle like that, rather than just asking

HB7: Yes, but we often end up shooting ourselves in the foot, like this girl has

I didn't quite pick up on this, maybe due to nerves / inexperience at conversing with new people, but this seems like a good opportunity to start talking about the differences between guys and girls when it comes to dating, which would have been a transition away from the opener to a conversation. I could have spoken about times girls went about asking if I was single, but doing it in a really subtle way, to the extent that I didn't realise they had done it till I thought about it later. This is also a preselection DHV.

Me: Also, guys have a double standard here. They think it's OK when their GF kisses another girl, I'm not so sure.

HB8: When girls do that it's usually not sexual, it's just for fun, so it's probably OK.

At this point I go into a canned DHV story (although the whole story is true, not a fabrication) to show preselection. This is where it went wrong I think. The crux of the DHV is this:

I was in open relationship with a bi girl. She rang me up one night saying she had just tried having sex with a girl for the first time in a club toilet (she had only just discovered her bisexual side).

This is the first time a have used this DHV, and I don't think it goes down well. I think girls seem to think that the sex in the toilets thing is not very classy, and so it looks bad that I'd date a girl like that. I also think it's a bit full on early in the interaction. I think I'm going to tone it down to I used to be in an open relationship with a BI girl and it was funny because she asked me for advice on how to pull women.

Anyway, I think I lost them with this DHV. HB7 wouldn't make eye contact after that, and actually went quite red lol. I decided to disengage because she seemed uncomfortable. I said, "See you then" and walked off. HB8 went, "Yeah, see you" fairly enthusiastically, and sort of turned towards me as I left. I've noticed girls with no interest often turn straight back to their friend when you leave.

I think I should be more relaxed about my use of canned material. My delivery is decent (because I learn the general outline of a routine, I don't learn it word for word), but I think I am trying to stick to a script, and so when that script ends I stop. I think I need to use a canned opener (trying to train myself to do situational ones), but then listen more to what the girls say and let the conversation flow from that rather than ploughing through with the canned stuff.

Would appreciate your comments on how I could have handled this better, especially with regards to getting a full conversation going. Would you guys have ejected here too, or stuck with it?