I haven't opened any sets for the past 6 weeks. As I blogged about apathy has set in when it comes to bar game, due both to success at online dating and lack of success when cold approaching. Also, I just can't be bothered to try and impress women any more, which if correctly harnessed is a good attitude.

I decided I needed to break the deadlock as it were, so I decided to go out sarging. Just a quick session (we were only out for two hours), but I wanted to break out of the habit of not approaching.

My wing and I arrive in a small cocktail bar, and I get the drinks in. There is a two set, HB7 & HB8 at the bar. The venue is quite narrow, and after getting the drinks my wing and I lean against the wall, which is only a few feet from the bar.

We start to chat, as I watch the 2 set out of the corner of my eye. They don't look like they've paid for the drinks yet, so I wait for the interrupt before opening. The bartender takes their payment, and I make my approach.

I touch HB8's arm and open:

Me: Excuse me girls. Which club do you think my friend and I should go to, x or y?

HB8: X is full of 12 year old girls, all tarted up to look 15!

Me: Ok, maybe club Y is a better choice. What kind of music do they play there?

HB7: It's funky house

Me: (to wing) Do you like funky house, mate?

Wing: (To HB7) What type of music is it, funky house?

My wing and HB7 start chatting. This is good, I can get 1 on 1 with HB8.

Me: So where are you two heading later?

HB8: Wimbledon

Me: Really? I didn't think there's much nightlife there

HB8: There isn't, we live there so we're just going to meet up with some friends and go there.

Me: A quiet one tonight, that's cool

HB8: So are you having a big night out

Me: Undecided. I'll just see how things turn out later

HB8: So how do you two know each other? Are you flatmates?

Me: No, we used to work together. What about you two?

HB8: We're flatemates

Me: Ahh, and that's why you thought we might be (light kino on upper arm, she doesn't flinch from it)

HB8: So what do you two do for a living? (IOI)

Me: I work in digital media, and my friend's an accountant. He used to do the books where I work (a white lie, not telling her we met on a PUA forum :p )

At this point the set just sort of fizzles out. A few minutes later we leave. HB8 notices us leaving and says goodbye. Another IOI.

As soon as we walked out the door I say to my wing, "WTF, I could have closed that set". "She was definitely up for something" he replies.

We arrive at the next bar. it's full of booths, mainly mixed sets. Not great for game. We grab a booth and I analyze the set as follows:

I'm starting to assume attraction in sets. I no longer go in feeling the need to impress. I almost can't be bothered. Overall this is good, but I do need to smile a bit more. Some humor would be good two, but that all depends on what I'm given to work with in the conversation and what mood I'm in. No need to force the funny. I don't think you have to be that funny to pull girls. A moderate sense of humor is fine. People think girls in set have to be laughing constantly. I'm sure that can help, but I am beginning to think that game is about one subcommunication at it's core: I am a little bit better than you.

One of the main things I took away from this set was a radical change of attitude. If I had done this set 8 weeks ago, I would just have thought the HB8 was a friendly person from the way the set opened. Now I assumed she was interested in me from the way the set opened.

I have a problem with premature ejeculation, which was clearly the problem here. Usually this happens either because I'm nervous or because I run out of things to say. Neither were the case here. I felt chilled, and I knew what I could say next. I could fill her in on a few more details about her job. Then I'd ask what she did for a living. From there I'd ask her why she chose that career. Did she just fall into it, or was it her passion? Did she imagine her self doing it when she was younger? At the same time I would mix this in with what I want to archive in the future. Talking about her motivations in life rather than the facts of her life would allow me to connect with her on an emotional level, and talking about my ambitions in life would allow me to present myself as a focused individual. A man with a plan.

From there I would stack into the finger length routine, mix it with a bit of a cold/warmish read from her. Gently neg her a bit. At this stage het buying temperature would increase, humour would come more easily. I could through in some push pull type stuff, then qualify and number close.

I knew I could do all this, and I wasn't too nervous to do it, so I'm sitting in the second bar wondering why I didn't do it. It was making no sense to me.

Then i realized.

I have gotten into the habit of opening, throwing in a quick transition, then ejecting. I have done this maybe 100 times, and so my brain is conditioned to expect to eject from the set shortly after transitioning. This is the thing holding me back from success at the moment.