How soon after talking to a girl in public for the first time should I ask her out?

cheddarchexmix · 2010-11-14T11:45:22+00:00

You don't ask her at that point. You ask if you can sit with her, you talk her up for a good 30 min or whatever, THEN you ask for her number. You basically get a free first date since you're in a coffee shop already and you can easily follow through with the number grabbage at the end.

throwawayrarst · 2010-11-14T18:22:26+00:00

Shoot the shit for a few more minutes, make her laugh, then grab her number. "i gotta get back to work, but you seem cool. Lets finish this cup of coffee later this week. What's the best way to get in touch with you?"

locochilli · 2010-11-14T19:24:50+00:00

Some ideas:

"wanna meet some time?" is better than "can I have your number?" for a start.

Also, you need at least one ioi before you ask her for anything. That's true of any favour you ask: you've got to know they like you enough to give a shit in the first place. Being friendly is not an ioi.

Get her to agree to something else inane before asking her other things: this is psychological voodoo that I'm not expert on, but I do know it works. For example "you don't mind me putting you on the spot with my coffee questions do you?". The more you get her to agree with you for a small request, the easier you will be able to get her to agree to give you her number.

Don't look her in the eyes when you've finished asking the question. You should not be looking for a reaction or signal from her for this. It has to be something you're confident will happen, or that you do not care enough about. She'll be able to sense that.

If you're confident about it, you can also try offering your number, which is easier and come across as less needy. If she likes you at all, she will likely offer hers. e.g. "hey, i know this is completely random, but you seem like a nice girl, and I wouldnt mind meeting up some time, would you like to take my number?"

Horatio__Caine · 2010-11-14T20:08:34+00:00

An easy, low-risk alternative is to ask for her email. The only problem is that it feels like a little bit of a cop-out. It is better than nothing though, so if you really feel like you're not able to ask for her number, you'd might as well get her email.

I will assure you though, you are underestimating the number of girls who will say, "he seemed to like me - why didn't he ask for my number?"

GreatBigPig · 2010-11-14T19:33:24+00:00

Don't ask for her number right away. Take baby steps. See if she'll let you buy her a coffee, or something like that. Try to think like her. Would she like it if a stranger walked up to her, talked for 2 minutes, then wanted her number? Probably not. Why not try and get to know her first? What's her name? What does she do?

Dating isn't a game.

Title	How soon after talking to a girl in public for the first time should I ask her out?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	6
Date	November 14, 2010 9:00 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e5wdu/how_soon_after_talking_to_a_girl_in_public_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-soon-after-talking-to-a-girl-in-public-for-the.1312956 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312956

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