In response to Tofusensei's post about 12,000 sedditors and few FRs, I first give my defense and then a disappointing FR that may be helpful to someone.

TL;DR #1 - excuse - new to seddit and single life and trying to walk before I run TL;DR #2 - FR - lady tries to hook me up with her sister and I knew it wouldn't go anywhere long before we met. I was right and wasted my time.

Yes, I am one of the recent additions to the ranks of seddit that has posted a question or 2 but has yet to post a FR. In my defense, my situation is a little different. First, I'm an older guy (mid-40s) and recently divorced after 12 years of wedded [bliss]. Was sexually abused as a kid and have been pretty emotionally sealed off for a very long time (thanks Catholic Church). Am living in a new city where I knew no one when I moved here (3-4 months ago). I'm trying to change my personality to being more friendly and outgoing and the information provided here by many of you has been very helpful but, as a few have said previously, you have to walk before you run. Right now I'm mostly just trying to "talk to everyone". So, not a lot of FR material. Of course, my reasons for holding back on talking to people has always been that they won't find anything I have to say to be interesting, so that's likely just my AFC talking to me. I guess I have a couple of FRs I can post. Here's the most recent.

[FR]

I went back to my hometown for the Thanksgiving break to hang out with my cousins and visit some old friends. My schedule was pretty packed as to who I was visiting when, so I didn't have a lot of leeway for off-the-cuff hookups or anything. On the Friday after Thanksgiving my buddy and I go out for a few beers. I encourage him to go to places outside of the hometown. In our town he's a rock-star townie - all the locals know him and he's been resting on his high school laurels for a long time. Seems like that would be good social proof except there really isn't that much action happening in the small town and he's kind of a big fish in a small pond whereas I'm a bit jaded having lived in some cities and am blessed to now be living in one of the most attractive cities in the country (according to Travel and Leisure magazine). Anyway, he's also married with kids and, although he can flirt like few others (a natural) there are limits as to what he and I can really do together (he wouldn't understand if I told him I was learning about PU and his memory of me is the old AFC).

So we pop over to the city and have a beer but the place is dead. Try another place and also dead. End up at a more local place which is more lively and we run into a couple that we knew from high school. At least, I knew the guy a little bit and the girl (Wanda) by sight but never spoke 2 words to her in the past. My buddy, of course, knows them and we spend a while chatting. The girl, an HB6 (from a notoriously snobby family) first comments that I need to lose my earring (which I laugh off and ignore - no more supplication for me) and then suggests her older sister (1 year my junior - Lydia - HB8 for looks) needs to meet me because she's seeing a guy (Chuck) that she (Wanda) doesn't approve of. I make Wanda give me her number so I can text her and setup a communication channel so I can meet Lydia on Saturday night (after her 25th high school reunion). When I text her I tell her I like my earring and she replies back (later) that she doesn't (following it with a little 'hah').

Saturday night I go out with another buddy to a great party at a brewery nearby. I know I'm supposed to meetup with Lydia later so I keep my alcohol intake low. I'm already not in the mood, though. Wanda's attitude kind of ticked me off (I decided I would keep the earring in for the evening) and I really couldn't see what was going to come of the meeting - I was heading back home on Monday morning, had family plans on Sunday, and would be separated by 1000 miles from them in a couple days. I didn't even think a ONS was likely, since I was staying with a relative and couldn't bring someone back to my place. The was only a slim chance that we hit it off and I could get back to her place. Considering my stage in the PU process, I thought that unlikely.

Still, I got a text from Wanda giving me meetup details (10:15 at the bar we met at Friday). Around 10:30 Wanda shows up with a friend (Ann), sits next to me, and tells me Lydia will be there shortly. Lydia shows up a few minutes later, I get introduced, and she sits on the opposite side of Wanda. Ann's fiance also shows up and Ann spends time showing Wanda and Lydia videos on her phone of her baby, talking about her new engagement ring, etc. Lydia and I toss a few bits of small talk back and forth, but it is forced and our positioning at the bar doesn't make things easier. No chance for any kind of kino. Oh, she also makes a comment shortly after arriving about me needing to ditch the earring (a simple, small gold hoop that normally gets a +90% approval rating from other ladies - these I have determined are just real bitchy gals - no change from high school). I chuckle and reply that I must not watch enough Queer Eye and then move on to another subject.

Anyway, my energy level was low to start with - I'm much more of a day person - I saw nothing to be gained from the interaction, and there didn't seem to be much interest from Lydia, although Wanda intimated that she hadn't revealed to her sister her reasons for introducing us. I split around 11:30, telling them to shoot me a text if they were in my neck of the woods (they are due to visit their other sister in April, who lives about an hour away from me). The thing I found funny was that, for ladies sitting on such high horses they had nothing perfect about their lives. Both sisters are in their early 40s, single, and each have a small child (Wanda has a 4 yr old and Lydia a 3 yr old, or vice versa, I forget). Yeah, their lives are going swimmingly.

So, things I did well was that I wasn't outcome oriented, since my expectations were already low. I also maintained my own sense of self-worth by not letting them push me around.

Things that could have been better. I had no frame and no energy. I showed no alpha behavior, didn't take any control of the situation to put myself in closer proximity of Lydia. Energy is a big problem with me always - probably mild depression that I am trying to address - and later in the evening is just not my best time for meeting new people. Having such low expectations also didn't help, since there was no desire to pump myself up.

last thing about the earring - I had lunch earlier in the day with a couple lady friends (not available) and they were big supporters of the earring. They also knew the ladies I was meeting that night and had low opinions of them. Ladies here in my new town seem to like the earring (I don't always wear it, it depends on the event), so I'm likely to keep it for nights out - I don't work in it or go to dressy events with it, either.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em - will take any feedback.

AND ONE MORE THING - for those of you sedditors still in college, definitely take this time to step up. You are surrounded by so many options - options that will not be anywhere near as prevalent when you get older. The women you will meet when older are often married (yeah, I messed around with a couple of these and made a real mess of things) or you work with them (same story - real mess). Most of the places to meet people (bars/clubs) are filled with people your current age (young) and it is harder to fit in and not look creepy. The older, single women are mostly divorcees with kids and signs of hard living. They are desperate, though, so if you're bar is set low you can score easily, but things could be messier. YMMV