Here's the deal, referring to this FR.
I had been flirting with this HB7 a bit (A - Ann in the FR) and she was giving me lots of IOIs (I would actually say she was trying to pick me up more than I was trying to pick her up). At one point during the night she said something about wanting a LTR, having kids, etc. Since that isn't what I'm about, I backed down a bit and ended up flirting with her friend (D - Donna from the FR), another HB7. I ended up #-closing both girls.
I have since gone on a few dates with D, some that also had A and another friend present, but I'm not pleased with the progress of this relationship. I take responsibility for most of it - I'm still new to PU and I know I'm not escalating well. That said, D really likes me but I've started freezing her a bit to see if I can get her to start ramping up to me (otherwise I'll likely LBJF her).
The thing is, one time when A, D and I were out having drinks, I brought up that A was looking for LTR, kids, etc. She (A) denied ever saying such a thing and that she's just looking to have some fun, since she's recently out of a LTR. It's possible I missed some context when she first said it, but we had both been drinking a good amount at the time. Anyway, that puts her back in my sights as someone I'd like to be FWB with and I think she'd be ok with it, but I think she assumes my relationship with D is further along than it is.
The 3 of us are going to a NYE party together and A is complaining that she'll be going stag and worried that she'll have a crappy time. To get her in the mood I offered to take her out dancing this week and she readily agreed. I think she's still hot for me and, depending on how I approach things, I could LJBF D and FWB A, which would be cool.
So, here's my question. When setting up the details for going out (via text):
Me: <band> is playing at <bar> at <time>
her: <band> should be fun. What time are y'all heading out?
Me: I can pick you up at <time>
her: That could work. Let's talk tomorrow.
We never talked about other people going with us, so I suspect the whole "when are y'all heading out" was a shit test. Does that seem correct? I ignored it and just kept with my plan. I think I passed.
If she brings up other people coming when we talk tomorrow I'm thinking of saying something along the lines of:
"Are you planning on hitting on me? Is that why I need a chaperon?"
First, would that be considered a DHV or a neg (or something else)? Second, do you think that's the proper response to a suggestion to bring more friends? I don't think there are actual trust issues between us. I've shown good social proof, have hung out with her and her friends on multiple occasions and have been both fun and respectful in previous situations. I am assuming she is just using some ASD mechanisms to not seem like she's hitting on her friend's bf (and the term bf would very much be a stretch). Just to add to it, I would have no problem telling D that I went out dancing with A, although I wouldn't discuss having romantic intents at this point.
TL;DR: I think I got a shit test and expect another and would like to know if my planned response seems acceptable and what PUA category the whole mess falls under.
[–]cheddarchexmix 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]woowoozle[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cheddarchexmix 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link