I feel I may be at a disadvantage because of the way I look.

2011-05-02T10:45:06+00:00

I am actually very awkward and shy when I am first getting to know people, especially women.

That is your problem. Not your looks.

You seem to think that your looks puts too much pressure on you and you are anxious that you won't live up to your potential. That sounds like a deeper psychological issue unrelated to your physical appearance. It just manifests through your physical appearance. You suffer from low self-esteem. Unless you fix that your personal appearance isn't going to matter.

Karma_Be_Damned · 2011-05-02T23:16:36+00:00

I too am a beautiful man. I also have a nice body. Shit rocks. But honestly I had both of those things before I had game and we both know it's not all it's cracked up to be. What you really want to do is look up r/mansformation and read about being a high value male. That's where all my sexual encounters have really stemmed from.

While good looks and a nice body will earn you a lot of IOI's that's pretty much it. And it's not even comparable to how many IOI's you'd get from simply being that high value male in the first place, doesn't matter how you look. I had a good friend in high school, ugly as fuck, awkwardly built, long curly hair he never did shit with, kid could out game me at any party any day.

Also I don't think other women are expecting a lot from you because you're pretty, I think you're expecting it from yourself. At best, the girls are only hoping you're as bad ass as you look. But it's not really what's going on in the woman's head that matters. That's her head, let her deal with it. It's all about what's going on in our heads. When we focus on that most women will obligingly go a long with it since in her head that makes sense. Don't try and understand it right now, all women are crazy.

However man let me go on with some words of encouragement. You'll hear a lot of people say there's nobody out there who can pick up any woman, it's all a number's game, you can't attract them all. While this is true in many respects (It will always be a number's game) I feel like us beautiful people have a shot at that perfect 100%. I think we can get there. I know because of my looks I've attracted parties worth of chicks when I only should've been able to handle 3 or 4 in the room. Instead they flocked to me. Framewise I know I didn't deserve that one but let it ride. As you yourself seem to have noticed, there is a particular value to being beautiful. If anything though I would call it a value amplifier. Everythings looks best in good light, you know what I'm saying?

So to sum up, I suppose I'm trying to say you're looks have not put you at a disadvantage. You're limiting yourself by how you feel women need to be treated and you've put an unfair pressure on yourself because of your beauty. You want my real advice? Drop any notion that women want

..this great looking guy who comes up and sweeps them off their feet by saying all the right things at just the right time.

Women want to know men who do whatever the fuck they want. Because they want to do whatever the fuck us men want to do with us. That's they're ideal man, like I said they're all fucking crazy. Just ride the wave.

frogma · 2011-05-02T13:13:21+00:00

Like reggieband said, your own thoughts about it are fucking you up. If you think it's somehow easier for an ugly guy because all he has to do is overcome his unattractiveness by being really cool, you're wrong.

By definition of the word "attractive," you have it easier than less attractive guys. If girls are turned-off by you, then you have to work on the same things as virtually everyone else- learn to communicate better, become more alpha, and more seductive.

I totally understand what you're saying though, and I've been in the same spot many times. A girl shows interest early- maybe she's giving you "the look" from across a room. Then you go and fuck it up because you can't seem to live up to the pedestal she's put you on. It's all in your head man. I've dealt with the same issues myself, but a minimal amount of experience built up my confidence and my cockiness, and now I like to make it as easy on myself as possible (walk up to the girl and kiss her- she'll be receptive because she's already shown interest).

I know a lot of good-looking guys who are only decent at communicating- they're pretty awkward and don't have much game. They still get laid, almost purely because they're attractive. It's definitely easier for them, no buts about it. I'm guessing you haven't had too much experience- if you're awkward and shy, then you're fucked, no matter what you look like. Be less awkward and shy, and you'll have more success.

try to begin some sort of courtship

I don't like your phrasing there. "Courtship" is a weird word to use, and it makes me think your whole approach is off (putting girls on pedestals). As an attractive guy, you need to be higher-value, since your looks already imply high value. You can stand to be more direct and more overtly sexual with girls right off the bat. Try it out. But you can also do it my standard way- tease them a lot, mess around with them, kino a bit, and then escalate as much as possible until they stop you. It's easier for you to compliment girls if you want (and break many other "rules"), but you have to make sure you don't do it from a position of lower-value (which, again, should be almost impossible for you since your looks imply high value).

andrewdown · 2011-05-03T01:26:49+00:00

You've gotta lighten things up a bit. Ever considered a gasoline fight?

puaCurveBall · 2011-05-02T16:54:45+00:00

Honestly, I am actually very awkward and shy

Pretty sure this is problem not your looks.

If you constantly think you are not living up to expectations from women, then that is an internal issue.

sockthepuppetry · 2011-05-02T21:15:31+00:00

Ridiculous. If your being good looking isn't just personal vanity and ego protection to give yourself a reason to fail (hint) and you're actually a seriously attractive dude, you will be simply unable to fail. We as humans are ridiculously blind to the flaws of people we're attracted to. I have a number of absurdly unconfident friends who get mad play because when a woman thinks they're awesome, they just play along.

Don't worry about filling in the large shoes of some woman's expectation; she'll do it for you.

Title	I feel I may be at a disadvantage because of the way I look.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	May 2, 2011 9:40 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/h24wr/i_feel_i_may_be_at_a_disadvantage_because_of_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-feel-i-may-be-at-a-disadvantage-because-of-the.1317922 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317922

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