A lesbian puts herself in the role of a man to attempt to date. For discussion.

sam0 · 2011-07-02T19:14:43+00:00

Very enlightening. My favorite quote: "Women’s desires were stubbornly kaleidoscopic and their more subtle proclivities even more uncategorizable." This is just so spot on.

huyvanbin · 2011-07-02T21:45:55+00:00

I call confirmation bias. She chose the experience she thought she should have so she could write about it and claim to have understood. Like a person might go to Germany for a week and then claim to have developed a deep love for beer (even though many Germans don't like beer). Or a person might spend a week with a native tribe and then claim to have developed a new connection with nature.

But yes, in my experience, women have this assigned cultural role of being nurturing, sensitive, and good with relationships. And so if you accept conventional gender roles to some degree, it's an especially jarring contrast to discover that some women (my primary experience here is the dynamic between my parents) are in fact extremely insensitive, sociopathic even.

They want to be entertained by men, to be seduced and coddled and protected like they think they deserve simply by virtue of being women. To them, men are nothing more than sources of emotion, like TV shows, and a man who does not produce those emotions is simply irrelevant and is discarded. And if she has no opportunity to choose, perhaps because she is married, then she viciously attacks the defective man for failing to give her what she was supposed to get in life. And her children are also simply generators of experience, with no needs of their own except insofar as it is her womanly duty to tend to them. So in fact if the child doesn't need enough, she feels slighted, but if the child needs something that is not on the script, she simply does not perceive it. And a male child of course has a doubly contradictory duty, because she needs him to play the role in her fantasy of being a mother, but the expectations that she has of every other male also apply to him.

It's pretty much the same dynamic that Kurt Cobain describes in Smells Like Teen Spirit, but on a personal level.

What's more is that because the woman believes she is intrinsically good with people (like that guy in Office Space), to attempt to negotiate with her is pointless. Because to her, it's an attempt to undermine her entire identity. Because the traditional role is to be intuitive, suggesting that she might be wrong is an affront to her identity. Because the traditional role is to be emotional, suggesting that she act based on evidence is an affront to her identity. And so this kind of person is completely immune to even being able to perceive that she is the source of all the evil that surrounds her.

And so attempting to fit the template that is proposed seems incredibly humiliating. I mean, yes, by being appropriately dominant, chivalrous, seductive, sensitive, energetic, etc. you can satisfy the formula that she expects from her evening entertainment. But then what? She's not going to care about your needs any more than she cares about how tired a singer must be showing up on stage after being on tour for a month. Because that's not part of what she's paying for.

I guess what I'm getting at is, how can you feel fulfilled from something you got as a result of a formula? You're not making art, you're just doing what everyone tells you must be done if you want a certain kind of success. And then, sure enough you are forgotten when the next applier of the formula comes along.

keruha · 2011-07-02T16:02:23+00:00

Enlightening perspective to see what it feels like for a girl to be an AFC. I wonder what she would have to say had she discovered game.

goocy · 2011-07-02T19:38:11+00:00

It's very difficult for an AFC to discern between reasonable and unreasonable desires in a woman. I was hoping for a bit more insight on this topic, but seeing the charade from the opposite side was entertaining enough.

Title	A lesbian puts herself in the role of a man to attempt to date. For discussion.
Author	alphaasfuck
Upvotes	14
Comments	5
Date	July 2, 2011 5:08 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iesov/a_lesbian_puts_herself_in_the_role_of_a_man_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-lesbian-puts-herself-in-the-role-of-a-man-to.1319866 https://theredarchive.com/post/1319866

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