I see a lot of posts and questions regarding the friend zone around here. I'd like to offer my opinion on the subject, and hopefully it will help some of you recovering AFCs out there.

I'm going to tell you a story. A story about Jim and Nick. Jim is an asshole. He's selfish, he doesn't communicate well and he pretty much does whatever the hell he wants. He knows how to be the life of the party, and when it comes to his friends, he'd do anything for them. He also hits on whoever he wants. If she's a cutie, he's talkin her up, he's hip-bumping her, he's negging her, etc.

Now let's talk about Nick. Nick is a nice guy, he's got a lil bit of game, but nothing spectacular. He pulls his punches and doesn't hit on every girl that he thinks is cute because his AA is too strong. He'll flirt, or what he thinks is flirting with girls that are around but his negs come off too mean and he's the first choice for girls when they need something, or have a problem they want to talk about. He thinks every problem he listens to brings him closer and closer to a girl, but in most cases he spends the night listening to Jim in the next room hooking up with her.

So why is Jim able to close so much ass? Because he doesn't allow himself to get into the friend zone. To Jim, girls are there for his interaction and HE controls the interaction. He's completely upfront with what he wants from girls and some of them like it and some of them don't, he doesn't care. He doesn't walk around trying to 'get in' with girls by listening to their problems or 'helping them out' because he knows what road that goes down. Nick unfortunately believes that the closer he allows a girl to get with him, the closer he gets to her... but it's the wrong way. The girl ends up seeing him as only a friend and nothing more.

My point is this: You get friend zoned because you're too nice. Stop being so goddamn nice. Don't do everything a girl asks you to, don't laugh at her jokes for no reason, don't worship the goddamn ground she walks on. If she tries to talk to you about boyfriend problems, that's not because she wants you to be her boyfriend. That's because she thinks of you as a girlfriend. Tell her to her face: Nope, I don't wanna hear about that. I'm sure his side of the story is just as compelling as yours.

It'll be hard, you might even feel like a dick, and you might even say... Well that's not my style. Okay - that's fine, do it politely, but firmly. "Don't involve me, I really like to hear both sides of a conflict before giving my opinion." Whatever you want, but the key is, there's a reason they aren't dating you, and that reason is you. You're too nice. Man up.