This is sort of a diary of my experiences in the last 7 months. It is written in stream of consciousness style, so I apologize for the lack of organization.

Prologue: My first romantic interest 7 months ago I was a nerdy Asian guy who has never had a kiss before. Because of a few bad rejections in college, I thought no desirable woman would ever want to be with me. It felt like a miracle when I was set up with a date with a gorgeous girl who was way out of my league. She was pretty, smart, interesting, and innocent (she was a virgin, like me). I felt like I had no reason to be with her, and as a result tried very very hard for her to like me. I tried to act like a douchebag (all girls like douchebags, and being a nice guy obviously doesn't work, right?), but at the same time I was all over her and treated her very very well. Predictably, she started to lose interest. She was cold towards me, and didn't return my calls promptly and didn't treat me like I treated her. But I have always been a bull, and was determined to chase her until one of two could happen: she falls in love with me, or she hates my guts and never talks to me again. I knew that life is too short to have any regrets. I was determined to take her on a FUCKING amazing date, and I did, after some convincing. On the date, I acted energetic, confident, and fun-loving. I am a smart guy, so I took her on the date that I knew could seduce any woman (not sharing my secrets, haha). So at the end when I took her back to my place, this girl who didn't show much physical affection before, cuddled up against me and was comfortable enough to take off her jeans. I knew my magic was working, so I made out with her and took her to third base. We sweet talked each other the entire time. I was seriously infatuated and thought we were on the fast track to a long term relationship. However, a few days later, she called my, crying, giving me the "let's just be friends" talk, stating that she did not want to go deep into a relationship and wanted to focus on graduate school, and that she was not as into me as I am into her. I was devastated. I really thought she was the perfect girl for me. I wanted to salvage our relationship, so I kept messaging her on facebook. Alas, she grew distant and now we don't talk anymore.

Partly to try to impress her, and partly because I wanted to find a replacement for her, I began a quest to improve myself and improve my game. I hit the gym, hard, and now I bench 165 pounds. I began to dress better (people now ask me for fashion advice, when before I wore poorly fitting clothes my mom bought on sale). I began to work on my social skills, taking any opportunity to go out and meet new people. Which brings me to the field reports:

[FR1] - This happened months ago. I went to a bar with a lot of confidence at first, but once we entered I was terrified of all the beautiful women I saw around me. I just awkwardly stood in the corner drinking a beer with some friends. However, eventually I had the balls to make a joke to a very pretty girl. A guy was throwing up in the corner, so I pointed and said "that guy must be having a great time." She looked, but didn't reciprocate eye contact or anything and just moved on, which hurt me pretty badly. Later in the night, I made a joke to a pretty blonde girl, a friend of a friend. I asked her, "why are there no Asians in this bar?" she laughed and we talked for maybe 15 seconds. She didn't seem too interested. I learned that you shouldn't talk about race unless it is in a positive light, it is a topic that alienates people and you want to establish a strong connection.

[FR2] A month later, a bunch of friends and I went to a club. At this point, my gym/dressing better routine was kicking into high gear, so I was very proud of myself. I bragged to my friends that I was going to go out to "spit game." But when we actually entered, I was intimidated by all the beautiful girls out there, and I got a bunch of negative reinforcement from my friends. "It doesn't work man," "you have to be really good looking for it to work," blah blah blah. I did not have confidence to go out and talk to girls, because my friends didn't believe in me. But at the end, a drunk friend called me out on being full of shit for not talking to girls. That gave me a ton of motivation- I do not like being called a liar. I went around talking to every girl I saw, and eventually got a number from a girl who I would rate a 7/10. We talk online sometimes, and I added her on facebook. (I am very picky- a 7 to me is probably an 8 to most people)

[FR3] This was last weekend. Went to the same club. I was super confident at this time because I was drunk, and talked to every single girl I found attractive. I rarely get very drunk, so I wanted to use the opportunity to talk to girls I would usually be afraid of talking to. A lot were pretty fun and willing to talk to me. I even danced with the bride-to-be from a bachelorette party, haha. Here, I began to lose my fear of beautiful women, I made direct approaches by walking up to them and saying "Hi, my name is X, what's yours?" That really brings out the human interaction- even the most beautiful girls out there are still human. I even approached some groups. It kind of hurts when you get turned away by the group, and it is a little humiliating, but I was drunk so I didn't care.

[FR4] This was this last weekend. Here, I was determined to go out and talk to girls, with the help of my friend to pump me up and open with girls. However, it was a little harder because I was not drunk. Also, we went to bars with no Asians, so it was a little uncomfortable for me (the previous clubs have been Asian clubs). But because I improved my game and was a LOT more confident than when I first started, I was less nervous, and it showed (I realized that before, I tried too hard and came off as creepy. When approaching girls, just be relaxed and speak calmly). We talked to a lot of girls that night- we didn't even think of anything creative to say, we just walked up to them and talked to them. I was surprised that pretty white girls are still very friendly, and maintain good eye contact and laugh at my bad jokes and whatnot. I ended up getting 2 numbers, one from a 6/10 Persian girl who seemed very interested in me (gave me a hug after I asked for her number, kind of weird), and another from a 7/10 girl who I had a great conversation with. I found that a good opener is to find a girl who is smoking, and going up to her and saying "smoking is bad for you." One girl who I said that to put out her cigarette and shook my hand in a cute way. However, I did not get her number- she and her friend left.

Conclusion: I went from a really shy guy to someone who has a lot of friends and is outgoing. Right now, I think I have no problem with 7's. However, I am an ambitious person, and I want someone who is very good looking (8's, 9's, and 10's). However, I'm still not 100% confident. It seems too easy that any guy can get 10's if they are just confident and outgoing enough. A lot of very attractive girls are with guys that are extremely tall, athletic, and good looking- I don't see many average guys with stunning women. I am tall and am good at a lot of things, but I'm still not so sure that I can ever pull a 10. One thing I noticed, is that a lot of girls will talk to you so they don't come off as bitches, but they don't seem too interested, and they either find an excuse to leave or just look away so the conversation dies down. How do you make conversations last longer? I'm trying to improve my game, and maybe one day I'll find another beautiful girl who I can fall in love with.