I’ve been an AFC all my life until this fall. Independent of reading anything about Seduction or Game, I began to realize my self-worth after getting some artistic success. People thought I was legit, and I realized that I’ve always been a good guy that devalued my own worth. No longer.

I’ve have some initial success thus far independently, but I’m coming here to hone my skills at being assertive and masculine. Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love was also an inspiration. I don’t necessarily want to add a lot of notches to my belt, but since I’m still young I want to swim in the ocean for a while. Which leads to my FR and my questions.

I’ve known a cute girl for a long while. HB8 I’d say. While I was an AFC I pined for her forever, but never had anything more than a friendly acquaintance with her. AA and inaction kept me from doing anything, but I was never friend zoned. Thing remained neutral for a long while.

While I was studying briefly in Norway I decided to chat with her back in the States out of boredom. Even when I was an AFC I always had some skill teasing and negging girls via text and chat. Texting is less dynamic and I tend to go overboard in my responses. Usually the chats were more successful. This chat I feel was pretty good.

I initiated this out of the blue:

me: OH THERE YOU ARE

Her: AH!

me: AHHHHHHHH

Her: oh hey der

me: Oh hey der yrslf.

Her: how's norway?

me: Pretty cool. Just saw high intensity Northern Lights. Pretty cool.

Also been tearing up the city with Nigerian men and Norwegian music students.

Her: NO! i want to see the northern lights!

jealous

me: Well why don't you come on up here my dear?

Better get your plane tickets quick.

Her: alas, i must be here.

tech week

me: lololol, no Norther Lights for u

How's it been hanging at home?

Her: it's hanging

me: How descriptive. You should do my job. [I’m a writer]

Her: haha

no, it's going fine

lots and lots of rehearsal

me: go on

Her: in my free time i eat and sleep and shower

me: Hey, that's what I do in Norway!

Her: OH MY GOD!

parallel universe!

me: We should totally get together and swap stories back home!

Well, I drink too.

Her: i bet they wouldn't be that different

:)

me: Well, there is the whole Nigerian thing.

And losing my hat in an alley and finding it the next day.

And coming home from partying when I had no idea where the fuck I was in the city.

That last one is probably the best of the 3.

Her: hmmm

i'll admit, getting lost in [our college town] is pretty hard to do

me: We'll have to try it sometime, just on a dare, eh?

Her: agreed

me: Dude, it's midnight here and my sleep schedule is still not fixed even after 3 weeks. I'm wide awake.

Her: haha

me: Or maybe you're just to electrifying.

Too much [her nickname]!

Her: aghghghgh!

me: Must sheild my eyes.

Her: i knew it!

i am a sunburst!

a brilliant star in the cosmos!

me: Nah, more like a Starburst.

Her: there we go

me: Fun to chew on...?

Her: i'm chewy and flavorful

now that, you will never find out :p

me: Umm, your grammar's a little fucked up there [her nickname].

Furthermore, you've got it the other way around from the truth. You ain't gonna get none of dis right hurrrr.

Her: it made sense in my head

you will find out if i am fun to chew on?

dirty-minded young man!

me: Whoa, get your mind out of the gutter. You're not gonna get the chance to chew on me 'less you earn it. And I don't know if you got what it takes.

That's what I said, try to keep up.

Her: now NO ONE said you being fun to chew on

me: I keep my secrets to a very select group of individuals. Like a fine wine.

She signed off soon afterwards without saying goodbye. I thought like I had made some good ground here, because she was giving me some IOIs after I passed her shit tests. However, a few months ago I had accidentally creeped her out when we had a misunderstanding via text, so I was worried that I might have gone too far. Her responses seemed receptive though.

A long while later I heard it was her birthday through a friend. I decided it would be a good time to see if she was still receptive to my teasing, and to check that she wasn’t creeped out but would still play along in good fun.

Our text exchange was this. I was seeing a show at the time, so our responses happened between long stretches apart as I only had the phone on during intermission. That may have unintentionally given her IODs when I didn’t rise to the bait immediately. (I had cleared my inbox recently so these are only approximations of the exchange):

Me: Happy Birthday [Girl’s Full Name]! I hope it’s nice and chewy for you.

Her: Thank you [my nickname]! Not that your ever going to get the chance to know.

Me: Oh, what a cruel woman you are, telling falsehoods like that! Here’s to [Girl’s Full Name], the girl who tells the finest fibs.

Her: If you don’t have the power to see the future then you can’t say you have any idea about that. (This text I remember the least because though it had an IOI going on, it was also equally awkwardly worded and ambiguous. Girl trying to be provocative and phrasing it awkwardly?)

In any case, my initial reaction was to text back and keep the banter up. Then I realized that if I ended the exchange right there I’d have the power of the last coherent statement in the exchange and an IOD. I held the line and we haven’t communicated for a few days.

Now, the strategy for me going forward is to invite her to a classy party I’m hosting in my dorm and doing no more than leaving a paper invite in her mail. I expect her to show, and then I can start building some more interactions slowly. Unfortunately I have no privacy in my dorm, so I’d have to leave my own party with my roommate at the helm if I wanted to escalate. Bad form for a host. Instead it may be a good idea for me to invite several of the other romantic prospects going for me right now and unconsciously show each of them that my options are open. Might get some preselection going if I just make the night about chatting and having a good time talking to the girls I like.

Now, I have two questions:

  1. Is there anything better I could have done in these exchanges? Maybe these actually were creepy and I shouldn't be trying to pull this shit online. Any tips or criticisms that I might be able to think about in the future? Any thoughts for my future strategies?

  2. Should I start dialing back on the joking and rapport with this girl and get more serious and reserved in person? To what extent? I feel like some light-hearted joking has and always will be part of our friendship, but what are the dos and don’ts for this type of behavior during courtship?

Thanks guys. Really inspiring subreddit here that has inspired me to discover my masculinity and be an assertive and engaging personality.