Inner-game question: any advice on being confident but not letting it fall into arrogance? How to tell the difference?

Marsupian · 2012-03-19T01:21:13+00:00

As long as you don't look down on other people and respect other opinions than your own you should be good.

Also don't try to constantly show that you know something or are capable of doing something. Only give advice or do something if you get asked for it. Showing off is a form of neediness as well and is actually the opposite of being confident.

mileshigh_23 · 2012-03-19T01:21:42+00:00

I had a hard learned lesson today on the difference. I direct opened girl #1 very warmly and confidently, telling her she was very cute and that I had to introduce myself. With a smile, I even told her during the open that my heart was pounding. The girl LOVED IT-- number closed like a baus.

I think I was feeling like a badass from that number close, because the next set I was TOTALLY cocky with very little warmness. I was also trying to act like this dangerous, bad boy with my motorcycle helmet in hand and a swagger that would make Collin Ferrel jealous. She told me I was not the type of guy her brothers would approve of, and that no, she would not give me her number. Ouch.

I was reading a book by Juggler the other day. He talked about confidence, and I have to say, he was spot on imo. According to Wayne, true confidence, the attractive kind, is built on self acceptance above anything. There is a certain humility in confidence that arrogance lacks. Confidence allows you to be warm and genuinely concerned with each woman you open, while arrogance is a selfish beast that only exists to feed your ego.

I find that arrogance pretty much always has this underlying attitude that you're trying to prove something.

2012-03-19T01:18:29+00:00

That's a good way of framing confidence. Just be mindful of the people around you and how they feel. When I feel really, really unsure, I just go the blunt route and say, "Hey, if I start actually being a dick, tell me to stop and I'll stop." Best part is, the usual response is, "Nooo, you're not being a dick!"

Nattfrosten · 2012-03-19T01:21:35+00:00

Needing to prove yourself is needy, just make sure that you don't base your confidence on the approval of others, and be more independent :D

throwaway_quinn · 2012-03-19T04:39:50+00:00

Confidence is "I'm good enough for the job at hand."

Arrogance is, "I may be a shitty, but I'm better than you."

dleet0r · 2012-03-19T13:43:41+00:00

I think confidence is more about demonstrating value without explicitly trying to show you have value or expecting some kind of response from others.

Arrogance is desperate, needy behavior.

PTKIRL · 2012-03-19T16:46:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Inner-game question: any advice on being confident but not letting it fall into arrogance? How to tell the difference?
Author	mepc36
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	March 18, 2012 11:53 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r2nzz/innergame_question_any_advice_on_being_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/inner-game-question-any-advice-on-being-confident.1330060 https://theredarchive.com/post/1330060

Comments