A short history/bio Like many of us here, I'm introvert and intelligent nerd. I am reasonably well built, tall and quite muscular but also a bit overweight (only a bit, though). Approximately two years ago I made a lot of progress with my social anxiety and awkwardness by actively getting out of my comfort zone, but since then I have been pretty much working non-stop with close to zero social life. Today I went out for the first time after 2010.

The plan I suck, I know that. Therefore I figured that it would be best to take things slow. My only objective today was to talk to girls, even a couple of words, just to check if I can still open my mouth. Actually, I know I can talk to girls very well, just not to strangers (I have some very good female friends). I decided to go to a popular dance club because I knew there would be pretty girls. I was going alone, because all of my friends are already in a relationship or are huge nerds who do not like to go out.

The execution First, I decided that since I'm still losing weight, I wouldn't be drinking a lot (alcohol contains much energy, and the hangover messes up the exercise schedule). I drank a couple of martinis; I hate the taste, so I couldn't drink fast. That was good, because previously I used to drink too much in clubs. The downside was that I was almost completely sober.

Had the objective been even a bit more ambitious, I would have failed miserably. I did talk to girls, maybe 4 groups of 2-3 people, mean HB level was maybe 7. However, I was so afraid of having an awkward conversation that each time I opened with something that allowed me to escape almost right after, which I did. I did not have the actual AA the way I used to (the physical feeling of fear that makes one almost unable to breathe etc), but somehow I just could see not future for any conversation that I might start.

To be fair, there were not that many easily approachable groups. Most of the people were dancing or in full tables, and in most places the music was too loud to talk at all. Clearly, I should have picked an easier place. In one stage, one HB7 asked if I want to buy her a drink. I refused ("sorry, it's a principle") and she left right after. The way she approached I think it would have been a waste of my money, but since I have no actual shortage of it I wonder if I should still have bought the drink just to see where it goes.

I'm from Europe, if someone is wondering about the weird time to post this.

tl;dr A loser finds out that he still is a loser