I get the feeling that girls are intimidated by me , and I think its hurting my game...

2012-06-11T21:36:49+00:00

It's obviously "how" you look at them... Not that you are a big guy.

I'm 6'4", and 195 pounds, athletic. Girls ain't scared of me at all. I'm the fun guy they want to be around.

Try to find pictures of yourself when you are not aware of it. You also need to reframe. Getting eye-contact should be something fun, not intimidating or scary.

TheCircumcisedMan · 2012-06-11T21:18:24+00:00

Sounds like you're not very socially calibrated.

"Smart, fun, and interesting. So why is it that all the beautiful women always seem out of your grasp?

Why!? You may even be athletic. You can do karate, can run super fast around the track, along with other things. So why does it seem you can get the average to cute girls but the very attractive women seem out of your reach?

What is holding you back is that you are skinny.

“But I like being skinny,” you say. “Look at all those fat people!” Indeed. “Those guys who go to the gym and all are just idiots.”

There was an article in the Atlantic Constitution that said how average women marry skinny guys over big guys. It also said… why am I parroting? Let the article speak for itself:

Quote: "When women are choosing mates - except for very attractive women -- they're facing a tradeoff of choosing a guy who's very sexy or one who will stick around and treat them well," he added.

It is self-evident that beautiful women end up with the masculine men, in other words, NOT skinny guys like you.

I know… I can hear what the objections you’re saying… because I used to make them. It seemed so ‘jock like’ and is ‘below you’.

I have gained over 50+ pounds of muscle mass. There is a saying that when skinny guys get big, when they look in the mirror, they still see the skinny guy. This is true, as my ‘skinny mind’ hasn’t yet caught up with my body.

Let me tell you of the change of reactions I got from the women:

For your reading pleasure,

Fat Girl = Means a big girl that requires an elephant gun.

Ugly Girl = In the same category as Fat Girl. These girls may not be fat, but it hurts to look at them.

Average Girl = They don’t hurt your eyes, but they aren’t amazing enough to attract your eyes. Average girls are the plain Janes.

Cute Girls = Often, they are innocent average girls whose innocence makes them cute. They are a bit picky about who they end up with as they are inexperienced.

Very Attractive = Great curves, long luscious hair, nice everything. These women know they are very attractive and sometimes narcissistically wear outfits to reflect it.

Very Beautiful = Bombshell. Every guy will notice this girl and stare and gawk. You know one of these women are around by seeing the satellites of boys trying to be ‘friends’ with them. Guys fear these magnificent creatures.

155

I started out around 155 pounds at 6’3 height. This meant that I was very skinny. I was also considered a nice looking guy. Women loved me being tall.

At this point, I had to deal with a lot of fat chicks hitting on me. These girls were BIG and I wanted nothing to do with them. Ugly girls also would come to me. This was me not doing anything. This was what my body was attracting all alone. If I wanted to get a cuter girl, I had to work for it.

I have problems talking to women, not because I am scared or boring, but because I sense the women think I am ‘below’ them. And the truth is that they do.

I date average women.

165

Already, things have changed. The fat/ugly women still go for me but they don’t think I’m as easy. They want to enter oneitis with me. The ‘unworthy’ girls category would now all be staring at me. To the beautiful women, I’m just a typical guy. Cute girls now enjoy talking to me.

I still date average women and now some cute women

175

“You are looking very good,” my older female manager told me. The fat/ugly women no longer hit on me (thank goodness!) and people (out of the blue) are asking why I don’t have a girlfriend. Average girls are beginning to stare.

I date only cute women with some very attractive ones mixed in.

185

Average girls are now hitting on me. Very attractive women are checking me out. At this stage, every woman is happy to talk to me. They all secretly wonder if I’m gay.

I date more very attractive women but still have the cute ones.

195

OK, when you don’t have a girlfriend at this stage, the ladies will whisper, “Is he gay?” all the time. One girl got bold about it and asked me point blankly, “Pook, you are cute and all. So why don’t you have a girlfriend?” I was stunned by her bluntness (rare among women).

Average women consider me out of their league. Cute ones try to become my ‘friend’. I date only very attractive women. Beautiful women are still a bit of an anomalie.

205

When you get to this stage, something very strange happens. All the attention and staring women gave you is gone (mostly). Ugly/Fat women will despise you as will the average women. Most girls will be scared of you (cute girls, very attractive girls)

Let me give you some examples. One Very Beautiful girl was in several of my classes. I start talking to her and she has plenty of time to leave. But she doesn’t… she stays to keep talking to me. The girls now notice me, but are a bit scared to talk and act around me.

One cute girl is like a leech to me in one of my classes. She must sit right next to me, must ‘borrow my notes’, must talk to me 20 minutes after class everyday…

One Very Beautiful woman was a fitness instructor at my gym (think ‘well muscled’ with nice strong legs (those strong thighs come in handy with her dealings with the Pook-man!)). Every time I saw this girl, she always had a ‘satellite’ boy around her. Who does she end up with? Me.

Or the ultimate example: there was a girl I was in oneitis that drove me to this webpage. As I got bigger, her reactions to me changed as well. At 155, I was ‘average’. At 175, she knew something was up. I got her at 195.

Now I date some Very Attractive women but most are Very Beautiful Women.

I know many of you guys are saying the same thing, “I get beautiful women too and I am skinny!” But the thing is, all these examples here is based on attraction on the body alone. I am NOT working to get these women. My body is doing 99% of the attracting. I can just be a statue and get a response. (But of course, you have to take action. This is based on doing zilch.)

Rather than work hard to get one woman, why not work hard on yourself and get all the women? I don’t work hard to get women, I work hard on my dreams which gets the women automatically.

Like the article says on top, only the extremely beautiful women will risk being with a hunk like you. If you want a girl with a great body, you ought to work on your own body.

Coming from a skinny guy, being big is a totally different world. The worst thing is finding out how people really viewed the old you. People now openly insult my past skinny self and it hurts. It hurts because I never knew they had thought that way of me. Clothes no longer hang on my body properly, but I look terrific naked (I am saying this for the mental imagery of our lovely lady readers).

Big guys are allowed to get away with more things. I allowed to be cruder, to be bolder, to take advantage of women more (I’m serious!), and so on. You can also be stupid as well. My biggest problem is women only wanting me for sex (no, this is not a joke. Yes, it is a problem). You try to find a girl that fits your life and all she is interested in is your body! It is like getting rich and putting up with gold diggers.

So how do you go from being skinny guy to brawny guy? There is a lot of information on the Internet. Diesel’s Guide to Bulking Up threads in the Health Forum is a start. For myself, I used Anthony Ellis’s program. 30lbs in 3 months, no joke. Though, for most people beginning, it will be like 30lbs in 4-5 months. The big problem with fitness is that there are so many different opinions. Many of them are wrong and will waste your time (including trainers). What I loved about Ellis’s program was that it cut all the hype and came up with very in-depth information. It works.

However, the risk with body building is that it can turn into a highly narcissist womb. I often think the mirrors in the gyms are not so much to perfect the form, but to perfect the ego. The risk is that you will try to become perfect and we all know that perfect is boring.

Now for a note to the skinny guys who are successful with women. They will, no doubt, post replies to challenge the relevancy of this post. Know that the central… thrust… of the post is not a bettering of image. It is an increase of testosterone. If you are naturally skinny, and are at a higher muscle mass, your body will continually be at a high state of testosterone building and rebuilding muscle mass just to stay the same. High rates of testosterone affects not only your actions, I believe women can sniff it out. So take a guy, stuffed with testosterone, and push him into a room full of lovely young ladies. He doesn’t speak a word. He won’t have to. The women will go to him automatically.

Such is the power of testosterone. Such is the power of sexuality." - A post by pook on the sosuave forums

Being a douche (in the wrong way) with or without muscles will end poorly. At least with muscles the girl will like to look at you for a few seconds.

Tenmagnet · 2012-06-12T02:06:52+00:00

At Lovesystems, we have instructors that range from 5'5, to 6'4, and probably about 150lbs to 250.

The big guys DO need to have less aggressive bodylanguage, but it's not a big difference.

My guess is you are calibrating this wrong. As a big guy, you can grab people's (and women's) attention more easily, and you can get away with a more laid back body language. "Locking in" would help.

2012-06-11T22:08:38+00:00

If you are really ripped there's a misconception that ripped guys are not that smart, just like there's a misconception that blonde HB10 are dumb. There's an article about that in T-nation.com.

Indeed some women are intimidated by big muscle, while a few are very attracted to them. I don't have exact stats, but like you I've recently started working out and I have acquired an athletic body, not yet ripped and very muscular (yet); and I've talked to a few of my close female friends, one is actually turned off by it, a couple are really turned on and like to flirt and play with me fantasizing about me looking like Arnold.

You'll find this post interesting: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/umot8/women_of_reddit_which_male_body_type_do_you_prefer/

P.S.: Are you doing this to get the girls, or are you doing this for your own self?

BinaryShadow · 2012-06-12T04:49:43+00:00

Also one time a girl I liked "playfully" kicked me in the butt so I "playfully" shoved her back. She responded by screaming and running away, which left me shocked.

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

2012-06-12T06:51:37+00:00

Girls are naturally smaller than guys so they don't think about bigger guys the same way a guy would. Hell if anything They will find more muscle hotter not more intimidating. A guy is more likely to be more intimidated of you than a girl would be. It is all in your head.

Title	I get the feeling that girls are intimidated by me , and I think its hurting my game...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	June 11, 2012 9:06 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uwrc8/i_get_the_feeling_that_girls_are_intimidated_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-get-the-feeling-that-girls-are-intimidated-by-me.1333926 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333926

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